The PUSH goal is one that makes all the others possible.
For me, obviously money is an issue. In order to pay the bills, I need to make more, to make more I have to have a better paying job.
So here is my PUSH goal:
Get a job doing marketing that pays well and isnt me doing somebody else's work, ALL THE TIME!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am going to start my entire self change thing then. I have my exercise and food calendar/motivational chart, I will log into myfitensspal.com and log my food intake and workouts each day, I have applied for a job and will we see what happens, I have put a little more into the hospital bills, thank you government loans for deferring my school loans for 6 months, I have ideas for christmas that are very cheap but I know EVERYONE will love it, or at least I hope.
I am off to the wonderful Florida and Georgia as of 4 am tomorrow morning. I am looking forward to it and hope that the sun and happy uplifting people will fuel the fire that is change.
Until then...
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
UGH THE GOALS!
I cant move on until I have these laid out but I seriously cant think of anything. Well I can think of a 1,000 things but none of which I can accomplish until I complete these. I have to do this for myself, no one else can help, I cant do these for other people.
1) I have spent the last 12 months training for the Disney Half Marathon and completed it
2) I have made my workout and food completion sheet
3) I have focused on my meals, meeting the caloric intake of 1900 a day, with 6 small meals and snacks to keep my metabolism going and will log it in myfitnesspal.com.
4) I have paid off ALL the hospital bills
5) I have committed one week a year to completely disconnect, no facebook, no email, no ipod, no cellphone
6) I have met 12 new people and weeded through to find the positive and uplifting ones
7) I focused on my Masters in Comm papers and have completed them both
8) I completed 4 paintings in the last 12 months and am working on getting them in a gallery
9) I have paid off my cc and have not used it
10) I have used my tax return to roll my cd into a Roth IRA, the beginning of a great future
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All it takes is a little time and a lot of honesty on my part! Gotta start somewhere. :D
1) I have spent the last 12 months training for the Disney Half Marathon and completed it
2) I have made my workout and food completion sheet
3) I have focused on my meals, meeting the caloric intake of 1900 a day, with 6 small meals and snacks to keep my metabolism going and will log it in myfitnesspal.com.
4) I have paid off ALL the hospital bills
5) I have committed one week a year to completely disconnect, no facebook, no email, no ipod, no cellphone
6) I have met 12 new people and weeded through to find the positive and uplifting ones
7) I focused on my Masters in Comm papers and have completed them both
8) I completed 4 paintings in the last 12 months and am working on getting them in a gallery
9) I have paid off my cc and have not used it
10) I have used my tax return to roll my cd into a Roth IRA, the beginning of a great future
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All it takes is a little time and a lot of honesty on my part! Gotta start somewhere. :D
Sunday, November 20, 2011
A tough decision...a real heart
So on this Chalene JUMP challenge, some of the info is in a video and the rest is written. I will be honest and say that I totally watched the video and then I skimmed the written part below. NOT COOL! I totally missed on Day 1 that I was supposed to make a top priority statement.
When a friend brought that to my attention and I realized that I had to make a tough decision. Do I make my family my number one priority or do I make myself my number one priority. I already hear some baulking so let me explain.
This is hard for me to say because my family is such a huge part of who I am. Growing up in the military you have friends, good friends, but often times those relationships fade when you move to a new base and have to make new friends. If you are lucky you will meet a friend that holds on through multiple moves and truly cares. I have been lucky to have a few of those, (Trey, Phil, Bo, Steph, Leta,...) but mostly it was an out of sight out of mind relational sort of growing up. You hold on to those that are around you. You make special bonds with family. By family most of you are probably thinking grandma, grandpas, aunts, uncles, etc. In the military, that is another luxury you dont have. I dont remember meeting my grandparents until the fourth grade. This was a tough situation because we had to live with people we didnt really know because my mom was sick. We moved from Okinawa Japan to St. Louis MO and our lives were completely changed in less than a month.
While it was great being in a new place and meeting new people it was tough to be a kid then. My grandparents were great! They really got us involved in the community, they let us be kids, they disciplined us, but at this point in my life, I feel something changed. I went from being a kid to being the caretaker. I worried constantly about my brother and sister and how they were taking being away from mom and dad. I worried about mom and dad. I worried about the what if's and not really knowing what was going on believe me, there were a lot of pretty bad what if's. But in the end it brought us closer. We finally got to meet our extended family and they became a part of our lives.
So for me, immediate family is not only your family, they are your closest friends, your confidants, and even when you are spitting mad at them, they are the only ones there to fall back on. You dont have the luxury of leaving your friends (a.k.a. your family) to make a different type of bond. You learn and grow with your family, your forgive things that other friends wouldnt, you know that person for who they are truely, you are there no matter what. So to say that they are second on my list takes some real effort.
While my family is ridiculously important to me there is a point where I have to make a life for myself that will give me a future unlike anything I have ever imagined. I have put a lot of thought into this and I think my being secure in my financial standing, my health, my weight, my relationships outside of my family as well as within my family, will be the piece that is currently missing.
If I am more secure with myself, the relationships I have with others will either grow or dissolve. That is a scary notion, the dissolving of relationships. But, I want to surround myself with positive people. If the people in my life dont understand that then our relationship is not the sort I need to be in. It will either grow and mature to something powerful or crash miserably into the abyss. Either way, I am ready to make that change.
In order to get to that place I need to be seure with who I am, where I am in my life, and realize that change is something I have to make happen, it isnt just going to fall into my lap. I want to stand in the mirror and not see a unhealthy person, I want to see tone muscle, I want to see glowing skin, I want to see a happy person. I want to not question every move I make. I want to be proud of my work and really feel like I am making a difference. I want to look at the bills coming in each month and know exactly how I am going to tackle and that there is an end in sight.
By focusing on my security, I will be more open in my relationships. I will have more energy for my 5 year old niece, who frankly, runs my a** ragged. I will be more secure with my appearance, my abilities, my talents. This will do more for myself and in turn, for my family.
So there is the bombshell. I am open to talking about this if anyone has questions. I would love to tell you about Chalene's Jump program if you are interested.
Its a lot to take in on a Sunday but I cant think of a better day to start.
When a friend brought that to my attention and I realized that I had to make a tough decision. Do I make my family my number one priority or do I make myself my number one priority. I already hear some baulking so let me explain.
This is hard for me to say because my family is such a huge part of who I am. Growing up in the military you have friends, good friends, but often times those relationships fade when you move to a new base and have to make new friends. If you are lucky you will meet a friend that holds on through multiple moves and truly cares. I have been lucky to have a few of those, (Trey, Phil, Bo, Steph, Leta,...) but mostly it was an out of sight out of mind relational sort of growing up. You hold on to those that are around you. You make special bonds with family. By family most of you are probably thinking grandma, grandpas, aunts, uncles, etc. In the military, that is another luxury you dont have. I dont remember meeting my grandparents until the fourth grade. This was a tough situation because we had to live with people we didnt really know because my mom was sick. We moved from Okinawa Japan to St. Louis MO and our lives were completely changed in less than a month.
While it was great being in a new place and meeting new people it was tough to be a kid then. My grandparents were great! They really got us involved in the community, they let us be kids, they disciplined us, but at this point in my life, I feel something changed. I went from being a kid to being the caretaker. I worried constantly about my brother and sister and how they were taking being away from mom and dad. I worried about mom and dad. I worried about the what if's and not really knowing what was going on believe me, there were a lot of pretty bad what if's. But in the end it brought us closer. We finally got to meet our extended family and they became a part of our lives.
So for me, immediate family is not only your family, they are your closest friends, your confidants, and even when you are spitting mad at them, they are the only ones there to fall back on. You dont have the luxury of leaving your friends (a.k.a. your family) to make a different type of bond. You learn and grow with your family, your forgive things that other friends wouldnt, you know that person for who they are truely, you are there no matter what. So to say that they are second on my list takes some real effort.
While my family is ridiculously important to me there is a point where I have to make a life for myself that will give me a future unlike anything I have ever imagined. I have put a lot of thought into this and I think my being secure in my financial standing, my health, my weight, my relationships outside of my family as well as within my family, will be the piece that is currently missing.
If I am more secure with myself, the relationships I have with others will either grow or dissolve. That is a scary notion, the dissolving of relationships. But, I want to surround myself with positive people. If the people in my life dont understand that then our relationship is not the sort I need to be in. It will either grow and mature to something powerful or crash miserably into the abyss. Either way, I am ready to make that change.
In order to get to that place I need to be seure with who I am, where I am in my life, and realize that change is something I have to make happen, it isnt just going to fall into my lap. I want to stand in the mirror and not see a unhealthy person, I want to see tone muscle, I want to see glowing skin, I want to see a happy person. I want to not question every move I make. I want to be proud of my work and really feel like I am making a difference. I want to look at the bills coming in each month and know exactly how I am going to tackle and that there is an end in sight.
By focusing on my security, I will be more open in my relationships. I will have more energy for my 5 year old niece, who frankly, runs my a** ragged. I will be more secure with my appearance, my abilities, my talents. This will do more for myself and in turn, for my family.
So there is the bombshell. I am open to talking about this if anyone has questions. I would love to tell you about Chalene's Jump program if you are interested.
Its a lot to take in on a Sunday but I cant think of a better day to start.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Day 2- Goal Setting
"The vital difference between dreamers and achievers boils down to some very basic, simple habits". Decide your goals, write them down and consistently check in, got it...
Here goes. Challenging and rewarding all at the same time, realness here we go...
1) In have spent the last 12 months training for the Disney Half Marathon and completed it.
a) I created a workout regimen for each month
b) I entered my food into myfitnesspal.com
c) I checked in with my accountability partner and made sure she was staying on track
2) I have paid off my cc and have not used it
3) I focused on my Masters in Comm papers and have completed them both
4) I have met 12 new people and weeded through to find the positive and uplifting ones
5) I completed 4 paintings in the last 12 months and am working on getting them in a gallery
6) I have committed one week a year to completely disconnect, no facebook, no email, no ipod, no cellphone
7) I have paid off ALL the hospital bills
8) .......
Okay, needing to think on some others. I know one is a relationship but I am not sure what I want. Is it wrong that I dont know what I want? I dont know that I want to be married. I want to be in a meaningful relationship. One where communication is key and while there are arguments and disagreements, there is understanding and honesty without regret.
So anyway, more thinking...
Here goes. Challenging and rewarding all at the same time, realness here we go...
1) In have spent the last 12 months training for the Disney Half Marathon and completed it.
a) I created a workout regimen for each month
b) I entered my food into myfitnesspal.com
c) I checked in with my accountability partner and made sure she was staying on track
2) I have paid off my cc and have not used it
3) I focused on my Masters in Comm papers and have completed them both
4) I have met 12 new people and weeded through to find the positive and uplifting ones
5) I completed 4 paintings in the last 12 months and am working on getting them in a gallery
6) I have committed one week a year to completely disconnect, no facebook, no email, no ipod, no cellphone
7) I have paid off ALL the hospital bills
8) .......
Okay, needing to think on some others. I know one is a relationship but I am not sure what I want. Is it wrong that I dont know what I want? I dont know that I want to be married. I want to be in a meaningful relationship. One where communication is key and while there are arguments and disagreements, there is understanding and honesty without regret.
So anyway, more thinking...
Thursday, November 17, 2011
A little about me...
Just started Chalene Johnson's PUSH program. If you dont know what it is, go to chalenejohnson.com/pushstart
Top three priorities:
1) Family
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: my family is my everything. This extends to grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who are close enough to be my family. They surround me with love, joy, sorrow, culture, character, and headaches, but at the end of the day, there is no one I trust more.
I will honor my number-one priority by doing my best to: Staying in touch, checking in with them at least once a month whether it be email, phone, facebook, whatever. Spending time with my immediate family at least once a month, make it happen.
To honor my number-one priority, I need to make the following changes: Carving out one weekend a month for family.
2) Being secure
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: This covers a lot of aspects of my life, financial, relational, and personal.
I will honor my number-two priority by doing my best to: work on my budget and try to get my debt paid off by tackling the smaller numbers first then resituating those funds to a the next biggest when the smaller is paid off. Work on my relationships by going out to more non-profit connect get togethers. Making time to go see friends and really keep in touch. Personal security by working on my fears and doubts, pushing myself past those physical barriers and looking the fears I have in the face.
The following action(s) would be inconsistent with my commitment to my top priority: Walking when I know I can run 6.2 miles, not doing that extra push up because I am lazy, not working out because I am tired, putting something on my credit card just so I can go do something with friends, planning out my grocery list and working towards putting extra money towards my hospital bills, cc, and student loans.
3) Giving back
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: I never want to forget where I started and how far I have come. I want to thank the people that have helped me get this far by giving back and helping others. Feed those that dont have food, build houses for those that have lost everything, help someone write a resume.
More to come...
Top three priorities:
1) Family
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: my family is my everything. This extends to grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who are close enough to be my family. They surround me with love, joy, sorrow, culture, character, and headaches, but at the end of the day, there is no one I trust more.
I will honor my number-one priority by doing my best to: Staying in touch, checking in with them at least once a month whether it be email, phone, facebook, whatever. Spending time with my immediate family at least once a month, make it happen.
To honor my number-one priority, I need to make the following changes: Carving out one weekend a month for family.
2) Being secure
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: This covers a lot of aspects of my life, financial, relational, and personal.
I will honor my number-two priority by doing my best to: work on my budget and try to get my debt paid off by tackling the smaller numbers first then resituating those funds to a the next biggest when the smaller is paid off. Work on my relationships by going out to more non-profit connect get togethers. Making time to go see friends and really keep in touch. Personal security by working on my fears and doubts, pushing myself past those physical barriers and looking the fears I have in the face.
The following action(s) would be inconsistent with my commitment to my top priority: Walking when I know I can run 6.2 miles, not doing that extra push up because I am lazy, not working out because I am tired, putting something on my credit card just so I can go do something with friends, planning out my grocery list and working towards putting extra money towards my hospital bills, cc, and student loans.
3) Giving back
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: I never want to forget where I started and how far I have come. I want to thank the people that have helped me get this far by giving back and helping others. Feed those that dont have food, build houses for those that have lost everything, help someone write a resume.
More to come...
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
10K, 5K, and then some
So the weekend before last I ran the 10K. OIE! The night before we decided to do Zumba for the Halloween party. We didnt know that it was a hour and a half or two hours. It was CRAZY! The best halloween party I have ever been too. YAY! For grown ups who get to dress up and act like kids.
Okay, lets talk about pain. WHEW! I know that I didnt train enough for it before hand but the 10K was KILLER. I was working hard and pushing myself the entire time but I know I could have done way better. I finished in one hour and thirty eight minutes. I will say though that it was stellar for my first 10K. This hills were ridiculous and all I could hear in my head was the race announcer saying that this years race was a lot more runner friendly than it was last year??? Really, then I am sorry for the peeps who did it last year.
D.D., the rock that is my motivation, pushed me. We made it up the ridiculous hill that claimed my Army career. We pushed it at the end and sprinted across the finish line. I really couldnt feel my entier lower body for the sprint but I pushed it. I couldnt walk for two days, seriously, but I think it was worth it. And definitely look forward to the next one.
This weekend Toni calls me on Friday night and asks if I am running the Trek for Tristan 5K. I had no intention to but she really wanted to so I said I would if she did. We did. I sucked. My legs just arent strong enough and wouldnt go. We did the 5K in a ridiculous 49 minutes but it got done. That my friends, is all that matters.
Work has been ridiculous because of our 50th Anniversary Celebration but it is almost here and I know it will beyond worth it.
No more races for a while because of money and the holidays and vacation :D SOOOOOO EXCITED about vacation. I will be going to Florida and spending a week then a couple of days in Georgia. I get to see some really great people and catch up with my other family. I get to see Jekyl and St. Simon Islands (OCEAN! :D), eat Monroe's hot dogs and Marice's fried chicken. Visit Habitat for Humanity, see a beautiful Ga town, spanish moss and more. I will sit by the pool and run in the heat. I may even get to do Disneyworld. I really need a break and I am beyond blessed to have the opportunity to do this. It would not have been possible with out my other mother, Jean Turner. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING ALL WRAPPED UP IN ONE!
I pray all of you are doing well and look forward to telling you more soon.
Okay, lets talk about pain. WHEW! I know that I didnt train enough for it before hand but the 10K was KILLER. I was working hard and pushing myself the entire time but I know I could have done way better. I finished in one hour and thirty eight minutes. I will say though that it was stellar for my first 10K. This hills were ridiculous and all I could hear in my head was the race announcer saying that this years race was a lot more runner friendly than it was last year??? Really, then I am sorry for the peeps who did it last year.
D.D., the rock that is my motivation, pushed me. We made it up the ridiculous hill that claimed my Army career. We pushed it at the end and sprinted across the finish line. I really couldnt feel my entier lower body for the sprint but I pushed it. I couldnt walk for two days, seriously, but I think it was worth it. And definitely look forward to the next one.
This weekend Toni calls me on Friday night and asks if I am running the Trek for Tristan 5K. I had no intention to but she really wanted to so I said I would if she did. We did. I sucked. My legs just arent strong enough and wouldnt go. We did the 5K in a ridiculous 49 minutes but it got done. That my friends, is all that matters.
Work has been ridiculous because of our 50th Anniversary Celebration but it is almost here and I know it will beyond worth it.
No more races for a while because of money and the holidays and vacation :D SOOOOOO EXCITED about vacation. I will be going to Florida and spending a week then a couple of days in Georgia. I get to see some really great people and catch up with my other family. I get to see Jekyl and St. Simon Islands (OCEAN! :D), eat Monroe's hot dogs and Marice's fried chicken. Visit Habitat for Humanity, see a beautiful Ga town, spanish moss and more. I will sit by the pool and run in the heat. I may even get to do Disneyworld. I really need a break and I am beyond blessed to have the opportunity to do this. It would not have been possible with out my other mother, Jean Turner. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING ALL WRAPPED UP IN ONE!
I pray all of you are doing well and look forward to telling you more soon.
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