So tomorrow is the day. It seems like 30 years has come and gone in the blink of an eye. I question what I have to show for it everyday but am thankful for so many things. Still there is a longing in my heart for something more.
I am thankful for getting to know my family better, I am thankful for the love of my life, "Baby E", I am thankful for the opportunities the Lord has blessed me with as well as the struggles. I am thankful for the handful of friends I know will always be there and love me no matter what. I am thankful for those that are true to the end. Forget the kiss kiss nice answer, tell me the truth, I will love you that much more for just being honest with me. I pray that you forgive me when I am bluntly honest with you. I just want to make sure you get exactly what I mean, not the niced down version of a little white lie. I know at times I am too much and at times I cant handle you either. I know at times I need to be alone and sometimes you dont understand that, its just the way I am. I am scared of what you have to offer and am scared of what I have to lose. But more than anything I am thankful for the chance. I pray for someone that I can share my everything with, my hopes, my dreams, my secrets, my past, and my future and everything in between. I pray for a great many things but most of all I pray that God, my Lord and savior, will just shove me with all his might into the life He has planned for me. As we all know I am hard headed and I am guessing I just dont get the subtle hints you throw my way. If I do, I am obviously a little confused and not really sure where to go from here. I dont know what I am supposed to do and feel lost. This milestone is just one day of the rest of my life, I am ready to start the rest.
God has put many things on my heart lately. With out him I would not have the things that He gives me that make me who I am. I am thankful for each and everyone, whether it be person, animal, place, thing or even the unseen. Here's to another 30 years of faith, true life, all I long for and the end of me. Our friend Brandon says in one of his new songs "Wherever, whenever, whatever the cost, count me in!" (Check out his new web page http://brandonwebbmusic.com) I want to be in that place with all my heart and soul, I just need your help to get there.
As always, here's an update on the Baby E, the love of my life and the happiness that keeps me going everyday.
She is doing good, hasnt been sick for a while now, thank the Lord. The test results came back and it is clear she does not have cystic fibrosis. Again, thank the LORD! So more tests to come, allergies etc. She is having a great summer, feeding the ducks, going to the park, hanging with the grand and great grand parents. Toni and Steve had their anniversary at the beginning of June and went to Branson. They took her with them, as you can see she loved the DUCK ride. It is an old WWII truck/boat thingy. They give you the duck bill that is a quacker and she wouldnt stop quacking for three days afterwards. :D I think its safe to say she liked it.
What is summer with out ice cream? So I took her to DQ we got some yumminess and proceeded to drop it all over grandma's van, it was great :D You can tell by this picture she hates ice cream, no really, dont let the face trick you ;)
We also have to get some sun time in and of course accesorize. Just because mommy and the rest of the women in our families dont really get the fashion thing she is not letting that stop her. She is a diva, watch out boys.
Well more to come soon. Going to the Outerbanks (OBX) of North Carolina in a week, WOOT WOOT! Plenty of pics will follow I assure you and the rest of baby E's summer excursions as well. Keep in touch and may God bless your everything with just enough.
