Honesty

New beginnings always start with being honest. In each truth I find myself looking back and wondering why I hadn't done that sooner. Why didn't you just say no? Why didn't you just trust? Why do you always have to push away? These are known as the "Why" questions. I have decided this year that instead of doing a new year's resolution I am going to do a thanksgiving resolution. I am resolving to write down every "Why" question I can think of right this second. It is one I can hold myself to and there are no strings attached. I will be thankful for each of them and try to make a difference in some of them. I can not conquer the world and I cant fix these things, but if I can help just one person through any part or the whole of any of the "Why's" below I will have accomplished something great.

So, truth:

• Why do people have to hurt?
• Why do people have to be alone?
• Why do guys feel the need to assume you want a relationship if you talk to them more than once a month? Cant we just be friends and hang out with out having to be more?
• Why is it that some people can shove food in their mouths on Thanksgiving without taking into account that some people don't get that chance?
• Why do people complain about the homeless on the street but don't take the time to help one find their way back?
• Why do people complain about religion in schools, on money and in federal buildings?
• Why don't I trust people?
• Why do people talk about each other behind the others back?
• Why do I judge people before I get to know them?
• Why do I have to be alone in this walk through life?
• Why do children and parents have to question the safety of the school or day care they go to because people are so bad?
• Why do kids have to go through life with out their parents because of work, divorce or even death?
• Why does the military of the U.S. have to protect everyone else at such a high cost?
• Why do more people in America realize what the military does for them?
• Why is it that I don't see the blessing in the curse?
• Why cant he walk?
• Why cant he see?
• Why are there so many homes and lives that are being destroyed because of something that a few people caused?
• Why do Americans feel like we need to buy from other countries just so we can get things cheaper?
• Why cant I forgive?
• Why cant I forget?
• Why do people not appreciate the gift they have in love?
• Why cant I be like older people who just don't give a darn anymore?
• Why am I so afraid to cry?
• Why does society still push marriage as the solution to everything?
• Why do people have babies to fix marriages?
• Why do people get married to fix their relationships?
• Why do people enjoy porn so much when there is so much more real beauty in the world to enjoy?
• Why do people fight over items on Black Friday that cost hundreds of dollars, or even ten, when there are people that aren't able to give anything?
• Why do so many animals depend on us and us on them and we still cant find a balance?
• Why cant I make a difference?
• Why cant I find a job that lets me make a difference for a living?
• Why do so many people get beaten and get to that place where they think it is okay?
• Why do so many people that have jobs right now get paid so much to do nothing when there are plenty of people that could do the same thing for 1/4 of the price and be able to feed their families?
• Why cant I concentrate on school?
• Why doesn't my family understand my need to make a difference, whether it with a smile, giving back the money I found on the floor, feeding people on thanksgiving, giving someone the extra shampoo or toothpaste I have, or giving someone a meal who is standing on the street begging for food?
• Why do I have so much, long for more, and strive to give?
• Why does Baby E love me so unconditionally and I her?
• Why wasn't I there when she was born?
• Why do I worry about her ALL the time?
• Why cant I help those closest to me?
• Why cant I share myself with the friends I hold dear?

Well, there you have it. The list as it is. I am sure there are a million more "Why's" going through my head. These are the ones that are standing out right now. I want to be that person that answers the why questions instead of just asking them.