OH WOW! Can we start with an easier one?
I guess not so here goes. . .
My definition of success is-
Knowing at the end of the day that I chose to make positive decisions, allowing myself to take care of myself, believe in myself, and be a great role model for others (mainly E).
So here are a few of the steps I am going to take to make my environment reflect this definition:
1) Call E at least once a week just to talk, ask her how she is, ask her about one positive thing from her week and tell her one positive thing about my week.
2) QUIT SECOND GUESSING EVERYTHING! You are an intelligent person with lots of experiences to draw from, trust in that.
3) Take one negative thing everyday and change it to a positive.
4) Take at least one hour a day to workout and focus on the meals of the day.
This is just a place to start but will make more as I go along.
What is your definition of success?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Thursday, December 15, 2011
PUSH Goal!!!
Okay, so who knew when I started this four weeks ago what God had in store for me and my PUSH goal. When I started this Chalene thing, I had my doubts, I have my hold-ups, but I pushed forward and guess what! IT WORKED! I realized that I was the only one that was going to change things. I had to take steps to make those goals happen and that decision was mine to make, no one was going to do it for me, and no one was going to help me. So I applied for a job, not having any expectations that I would even get an interview. I got the interview, I got the assignment and I got the JOB! I am now the Marketing and Graphics Coordinator for Starlight Theatre :D WAHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Thank you Chalene for giving me support, thank you team Maui for support, thank you for all those believed in me and thank you for being proud and excited for me.
So now I am on to the next step which is fitness goals. Let's be honest, obviously not a strong suite but I am determined and I am going to make a change.
The key is to be SMART. Small, measureable, acheivable, rewarding and time sensitive.
For Small I am going to start with this, I will go to the gym 3 days a week and get on the most horrible of machines, a treadmill to do my running, I am doing this because the outside running isnt working for me. It is too cold and I dont have the right attire to run in this.
For Measureable I will keep track on a calendar that will have stickers. I will keep it at work so that I have to look at it for 8 hours a day. Making me feel bad about it if I slack and really keeping me accountable with myself. Yes, I realize it is sad I have to keep myself accountable but really, I am being honest that I do so back off.
Acheiable leaves me with the fact that I know I can do it, I have done it.
Rewarding, this will be rewarding for me because I feel healthier, I feel more energized, I am happier, and I will loose water, inches and weight.
Time-Sensitive, I am giving this 4weeks, if I follow through I will buy myself a new pair of running shoes which I need badly and secretly love getting :D
This will put me one step closer to my overall PUSH goal halth.fitness related of running the disney half.
The positive side effects of doing this are:
Fell better- healthier
More energized
Better skin
Less stomach issues
Smaller stomach
Harder muscles
Better Cholesterol score
Better Blood Pressure
Cooler clothes
New shoes
Sexiness
More approachable
So now I am on to the next step which is fitness goals. Let's be honest, obviously not a strong suite but I am determined and I am going to make a change.
The key is to be SMART. Small, measureable, acheivable, rewarding and time sensitive.
For Small I am going to start with this, I will go to the gym 3 days a week and get on the most horrible of machines, a treadmill to do my running, I am doing this because the outside running isnt working for me. It is too cold and I dont have the right attire to run in this.
For Measureable I will keep track on a calendar that will have stickers. I will keep it at work so that I have to look at it for 8 hours a day. Making me feel bad about it if I slack and really keeping me accountable with myself. Yes, I realize it is sad I have to keep myself accountable but really, I am being honest that I do so back off.
Acheiable leaves me with the fact that I know I can do it, I have done it.
Rewarding, this will be rewarding for me because I feel healthier, I feel more energized, I am happier, and I will loose water, inches and weight.
Time-Sensitive, I am giving this 4weeks, if I follow through I will buy myself a new pair of running shoes which I need badly and secretly love getting :D
This will put me one step closer to my overall PUSH goal halth.fitness related of running the disney half.
The positive side effects of doing this are:
Fell better- healthier
More energized
Better skin
Less stomach issues
Smaller stomach
Harder muscles
Better Cholesterol score
Better Blood Pressure
Cooler clothes
New shoes
Sexiness
More approachable
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
PUSH
The PUSH goal is one that makes all the others possible.
For me, obviously money is an issue. In order to pay the bills, I need to make more, to make more I have to have a better paying job.
So here is my PUSH goal:
Get a job doing marketing that pays well and isnt me doing somebody else's work, ALL THE TIME!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am going to start my entire self change thing then. I have my exercise and food calendar/motivational chart, I will log into myfitensspal.com and log my food intake and workouts each day, I have applied for a job and will we see what happens, I have put a little more into the hospital bills, thank you government loans for deferring my school loans for 6 months, I have ideas for christmas that are very cheap but I know EVERYONE will love it, or at least I hope.
I am off to the wonderful Florida and Georgia as of 4 am tomorrow morning. I am looking forward to it and hope that the sun and happy uplifting people will fuel the fire that is change.
Until then...
For me, obviously money is an issue. In order to pay the bills, I need to make more, to make more I have to have a better paying job.
So here is my PUSH goal:
Get a job doing marketing that pays well and isnt me doing somebody else's work, ALL THE TIME!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am going to start my entire self change thing then. I have my exercise and food calendar/motivational chart, I will log into myfitensspal.com and log my food intake and workouts each day, I have applied for a job and will we see what happens, I have put a little more into the hospital bills, thank you government loans for deferring my school loans for 6 months, I have ideas for christmas that are very cheap but I know EVERYONE will love it, or at least I hope.
I am off to the wonderful Florida and Georgia as of 4 am tomorrow morning. I am looking forward to it and hope that the sun and happy uplifting people will fuel the fire that is change.
Until then...
Monday, November 21, 2011
UGH THE GOALS!
I cant move on until I have these laid out but I seriously cant think of anything. Well I can think of a 1,000 things but none of which I can accomplish until I complete these. I have to do this for myself, no one else can help, I cant do these for other people.
1) I have spent the last 12 months training for the Disney Half Marathon and completed it
2) I have made my workout and food completion sheet
3) I have focused on my meals, meeting the caloric intake of 1900 a day, with 6 small meals and snacks to keep my metabolism going and will log it in myfitnesspal.com.
4) I have paid off ALL the hospital bills
5) I have committed one week a year to completely disconnect, no facebook, no email, no ipod, no cellphone
6) I have met 12 new people and weeded through to find the positive and uplifting ones
7) I focused on my Masters in Comm papers and have completed them both
8) I completed 4 paintings in the last 12 months and am working on getting them in a gallery
9) I have paid off my cc and have not used it
10) I have used my tax return to roll my cd into a Roth IRA, the beginning of a great future
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All it takes is a little time and a lot of honesty on my part! Gotta start somewhere. :D
1) I have spent the last 12 months training for the Disney Half Marathon and completed it
2) I have made my workout and food completion sheet
3) I have focused on my meals, meeting the caloric intake of 1900 a day, with 6 small meals and snacks to keep my metabolism going and will log it in myfitnesspal.com.
4) I have paid off ALL the hospital bills
5) I have committed one week a year to completely disconnect, no facebook, no email, no ipod, no cellphone
6) I have met 12 new people and weeded through to find the positive and uplifting ones
7) I focused on my Masters in Comm papers and have completed them both
8) I completed 4 paintings in the last 12 months and am working on getting them in a gallery
9) I have paid off my cc and have not used it
10) I have used my tax return to roll my cd into a Roth IRA, the beginning of a great future
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All it takes is a little time and a lot of honesty on my part! Gotta start somewhere. :D
Sunday, November 20, 2011
A tough decision...a real heart
So on this Chalene JUMP challenge, some of the info is in a video and the rest is written. I will be honest and say that I totally watched the video and then I skimmed the written part below. NOT COOL! I totally missed on Day 1 that I was supposed to make a top priority statement.
When a friend brought that to my attention and I realized that I had to make a tough decision. Do I make my family my number one priority or do I make myself my number one priority. I already hear some baulking so let me explain.
This is hard for me to say because my family is such a huge part of who I am. Growing up in the military you have friends, good friends, but often times those relationships fade when you move to a new base and have to make new friends. If you are lucky you will meet a friend that holds on through multiple moves and truly cares. I have been lucky to have a few of those, (Trey, Phil, Bo, Steph, Leta,...) but mostly it was an out of sight out of mind relational sort of growing up. You hold on to those that are around you. You make special bonds with family. By family most of you are probably thinking grandma, grandpas, aunts, uncles, etc. In the military, that is another luxury you dont have. I dont remember meeting my grandparents until the fourth grade. This was a tough situation because we had to live with people we didnt really know because my mom was sick. We moved from Okinawa Japan to St. Louis MO and our lives were completely changed in less than a month.
While it was great being in a new place and meeting new people it was tough to be a kid then. My grandparents were great! They really got us involved in the community, they let us be kids, they disciplined us, but at this point in my life, I feel something changed. I went from being a kid to being the caretaker. I worried constantly about my brother and sister and how they were taking being away from mom and dad. I worried about mom and dad. I worried about the what if's and not really knowing what was going on believe me, there were a lot of pretty bad what if's. But in the end it brought us closer. We finally got to meet our extended family and they became a part of our lives.
So for me, immediate family is not only your family, they are your closest friends, your confidants, and even when you are spitting mad at them, they are the only ones there to fall back on. You dont have the luxury of leaving your friends (a.k.a. your family) to make a different type of bond. You learn and grow with your family, your forgive things that other friends wouldnt, you know that person for who they are truely, you are there no matter what. So to say that they are second on my list takes some real effort.
While my family is ridiculously important to me there is a point where I have to make a life for myself that will give me a future unlike anything I have ever imagined. I have put a lot of thought into this and I think my being secure in my financial standing, my health, my weight, my relationships outside of my family as well as within my family, will be the piece that is currently missing.
If I am more secure with myself, the relationships I have with others will either grow or dissolve. That is a scary notion, the dissolving of relationships. But, I want to surround myself with positive people. If the people in my life dont understand that then our relationship is not the sort I need to be in. It will either grow and mature to something powerful or crash miserably into the abyss. Either way, I am ready to make that change.
In order to get to that place I need to be seure with who I am, where I am in my life, and realize that change is something I have to make happen, it isnt just going to fall into my lap. I want to stand in the mirror and not see a unhealthy person, I want to see tone muscle, I want to see glowing skin, I want to see a happy person. I want to not question every move I make. I want to be proud of my work and really feel like I am making a difference. I want to look at the bills coming in each month and know exactly how I am going to tackle and that there is an end in sight.
By focusing on my security, I will be more open in my relationships. I will have more energy for my 5 year old niece, who frankly, runs my a** ragged. I will be more secure with my appearance, my abilities, my talents. This will do more for myself and in turn, for my family.
So there is the bombshell. I am open to talking about this if anyone has questions. I would love to tell you about Chalene's Jump program if you are interested.
Its a lot to take in on a Sunday but I cant think of a better day to start.
When a friend brought that to my attention and I realized that I had to make a tough decision. Do I make my family my number one priority or do I make myself my number one priority. I already hear some baulking so let me explain.
This is hard for me to say because my family is such a huge part of who I am. Growing up in the military you have friends, good friends, but often times those relationships fade when you move to a new base and have to make new friends. If you are lucky you will meet a friend that holds on through multiple moves and truly cares. I have been lucky to have a few of those, (Trey, Phil, Bo, Steph, Leta,...) but mostly it was an out of sight out of mind relational sort of growing up. You hold on to those that are around you. You make special bonds with family. By family most of you are probably thinking grandma, grandpas, aunts, uncles, etc. In the military, that is another luxury you dont have. I dont remember meeting my grandparents until the fourth grade. This was a tough situation because we had to live with people we didnt really know because my mom was sick. We moved from Okinawa Japan to St. Louis MO and our lives were completely changed in less than a month.
While it was great being in a new place and meeting new people it was tough to be a kid then. My grandparents were great! They really got us involved in the community, they let us be kids, they disciplined us, but at this point in my life, I feel something changed. I went from being a kid to being the caretaker. I worried constantly about my brother and sister and how they were taking being away from mom and dad. I worried about mom and dad. I worried about the what if's and not really knowing what was going on believe me, there were a lot of pretty bad what if's. But in the end it brought us closer. We finally got to meet our extended family and they became a part of our lives.
So for me, immediate family is not only your family, they are your closest friends, your confidants, and even when you are spitting mad at them, they are the only ones there to fall back on. You dont have the luxury of leaving your friends (a.k.a. your family) to make a different type of bond. You learn and grow with your family, your forgive things that other friends wouldnt, you know that person for who they are truely, you are there no matter what. So to say that they are second on my list takes some real effort.
While my family is ridiculously important to me there is a point where I have to make a life for myself that will give me a future unlike anything I have ever imagined. I have put a lot of thought into this and I think my being secure in my financial standing, my health, my weight, my relationships outside of my family as well as within my family, will be the piece that is currently missing.
If I am more secure with myself, the relationships I have with others will either grow or dissolve. That is a scary notion, the dissolving of relationships. But, I want to surround myself with positive people. If the people in my life dont understand that then our relationship is not the sort I need to be in. It will either grow and mature to something powerful or crash miserably into the abyss. Either way, I am ready to make that change.
In order to get to that place I need to be seure with who I am, where I am in my life, and realize that change is something I have to make happen, it isnt just going to fall into my lap. I want to stand in the mirror and not see a unhealthy person, I want to see tone muscle, I want to see glowing skin, I want to see a happy person. I want to not question every move I make. I want to be proud of my work and really feel like I am making a difference. I want to look at the bills coming in each month and know exactly how I am going to tackle and that there is an end in sight.
By focusing on my security, I will be more open in my relationships. I will have more energy for my 5 year old niece, who frankly, runs my a** ragged. I will be more secure with my appearance, my abilities, my talents. This will do more for myself and in turn, for my family.
So there is the bombshell. I am open to talking about this if anyone has questions. I would love to tell you about Chalene's Jump program if you are interested.
Its a lot to take in on a Sunday but I cant think of a better day to start.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Day 2- Goal Setting
"The vital difference between dreamers and achievers boils down to some very basic, simple habits". Decide your goals, write them down and consistently check in, got it...
Here goes. Challenging and rewarding all at the same time, realness here we go...
1) In have spent the last 12 months training for the Disney Half Marathon and completed it.
a) I created a workout regimen for each month
b) I entered my food into myfitnesspal.com
c) I checked in with my accountability partner and made sure she was staying on track
2) I have paid off my cc and have not used it
3) I focused on my Masters in Comm papers and have completed them both
4) I have met 12 new people and weeded through to find the positive and uplifting ones
5) I completed 4 paintings in the last 12 months and am working on getting them in a gallery
6) I have committed one week a year to completely disconnect, no facebook, no email, no ipod, no cellphone
7) I have paid off ALL the hospital bills
8) .......
Okay, needing to think on some others. I know one is a relationship but I am not sure what I want. Is it wrong that I dont know what I want? I dont know that I want to be married. I want to be in a meaningful relationship. One where communication is key and while there are arguments and disagreements, there is understanding and honesty without regret.
So anyway, more thinking...
Here goes. Challenging and rewarding all at the same time, realness here we go...
1) In have spent the last 12 months training for the Disney Half Marathon and completed it.
a) I created a workout regimen for each month
b) I entered my food into myfitnesspal.com
c) I checked in with my accountability partner and made sure she was staying on track
2) I have paid off my cc and have not used it
3) I focused on my Masters in Comm papers and have completed them both
4) I have met 12 new people and weeded through to find the positive and uplifting ones
5) I completed 4 paintings in the last 12 months and am working on getting them in a gallery
6) I have committed one week a year to completely disconnect, no facebook, no email, no ipod, no cellphone
7) I have paid off ALL the hospital bills
8) .......
Okay, needing to think on some others. I know one is a relationship but I am not sure what I want. Is it wrong that I dont know what I want? I dont know that I want to be married. I want to be in a meaningful relationship. One where communication is key and while there are arguments and disagreements, there is understanding and honesty without regret.
So anyway, more thinking...
Thursday, November 17, 2011
A little about me...
Just started Chalene Johnson's PUSH program. If you dont know what it is, go to chalenejohnson.com/pushstart
Top three priorities:
1) Family
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: my family is my everything. This extends to grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who are close enough to be my family. They surround me with love, joy, sorrow, culture, character, and headaches, but at the end of the day, there is no one I trust more.
I will honor my number-one priority by doing my best to: Staying in touch, checking in with them at least once a month whether it be email, phone, facebook, whatever. Spending time with my immediate family at least once a month, make it happen.
To honor my number-one priority, I need to make the following changes: Carving out one weekend a month for family.
2) Being secure
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: This covers a lot of aspects of my life, financial, relational, and personal.
I will honor my number-two priority by doing my best to: work on my budget and try to get my debt paid off by tackling the smaller numbers first then resituating those funds to a the next biggest when the smaller is paid off. Work on my relationships by going out to more non-profit connect get togethers. Making time to go see friends and really keep in touch. Personal security by working on my fears and doubts, pushing myself past those physical barriers and looking the fears I have in the face.
The following action(s) would be inconsistent with my commitment to my top priority: Walking when I know I can run 6.2 miles, not doing that extra push up because I am lazy, not working out because I am tired, putting something on my credit card just so I can go do something with friends, planning out my grocery list and working towards putting extra money towards my hospital bills, cc, and student loans.
3) Giving back
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: I never want to forget where I started and how far I have come. I want to thank the people that have helped me get this far by giving back and helping others. Feed those that dont have food, build houses for those that have lost everything, help someone write a resume.
More to come...
Top three priorities:
1) Family
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: my family is my everything. This extends to grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who are close enough to be my family. They surround me with love, joy, sorrow, culture, character, and headaches, but at the end of the day, there is no one I trust more.
I will honor my number-one priority by doing my best to: Staying in touch, checking in with them at least once a month whether it be email, phone, facebook, whatever. Spending time with my immediate family at least once a month, make it happen.
To honor my number-one priority, I need to make the following changes: Carving out one weekend a month for family.
2) Being secure
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: This covers a lot of aspects of my life, financial, relational, and personal.
I will honor my number-two priority by doing my best to: work on my budget and try to get my debt paid off by tackling the smaller numbers first then resituating those funds to a the next biggest when the smaller is paid off. Work on my relationships by going out to more non-profit connect get togethers. Making time to go see friends and really keep in touch. Personal security by working on my fears and doubts, pushing myself past those physical barriers and looking the fears I have in the face.
The following action(s) would be inconsistent with my commitment to my top priority: Walking when I know I can run 6.2 miles, not doing that extra push up because I am lazy, not working out because I am tired, putting something on my credit card just so I can go do something with friends, planning out my grocery list and working towards putting extra money towards my hospital bills, cc, and student loans.
3) Giving back
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: I never want to forget where I started and how far I have come. I want to thank the people that have helped me get this far by giving back and helping others. Feed those that dont have food, build houses for those that have lost everything, help someone write a resume.
More to come...
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
10K, 5K, and then some
So the weekend before last I ran the 10K. OIE! The night before we decided to do Zumba for the Halloween party. We didnt know that it was a hour and a half or two hours. It was CRAZY! The best halloween party I have ever been too. YAY! For grown ups who get to dress up and act like kids.
Okay, lets talk about pain. WHEW! I know that I didnt train enough for it before hand but the 10K was KILLER. I was working hard and pushing myself the entire time but I know I could have done way better. I finished in one hour and thirty eight minutes. I will say though that it was stellar for my first 10K. This hills were ridiculous and all I could hear in my head was the race announcer saying that this years race was a lot more runner friendly than it was last year??? Really, then I am sorry for the peeps who did it last year.
D.D., the rock that is my motivation, pushed me. We made it up the ridiculous hill that claimed my Army career. We pushed it at the end and sprinted across the finish line. I really couldnt feel my entier lower body for the sprint but I pushed it. I couldnt walk for two days, seriously, but I think it was worth it. And definitely look forward to the next one.
This weekend Toni calls me on Friday night and asks if I am running the Trek for Tristan 5K. I had no intention to but she really wanted to so I said I would if she did. We did. I sucked. My legs just arent strong enough and wouldnt go. We did the 5K in a ridiculous 49 minutes but it got done. That my friends, is all that matters.
Work has been ridiculous because of our 50th Anniversary Celebration but it is almost here and I know it will beyond worth it.
No more races for a while because of money and the holidays and vacation :D SOOOOOO EXCITED about vacation. I will be going to Florida and spending a week then a couple of days in Georgia. I get to see some really great people and catch up with my other family. I get to see Jekyl and St. Simon Islands (OCEAN! :D), eat Monroe's hot dogs and Marice's fried chicken. Visit Habitat for Humanity, see a beautiful Ga town, spanish moss and more. I will sit by the pool and run in the heat. I may even get to do Disneyworld. I really need a break and I am beyond blessed to have the opportunity to do this. It would not have been possible with out my other mother, Jean Turner. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING ALL WRAPPED UP IN ONE!
I pray all of you are doing well and look forward to telling you more soon.
Okay, lets talk about pain. WHEW! I know that I didnt train enough for it before hand but the 10K was KILLER. I was working hard and pushing myself the entire time but I know I could have done way better. I finished in one hour and thirty eight minutes. I will say though that it was stellar for my first 10K. This hills were ridiculous and all I could hear in my head was the race announcer saying that this years race was a lot more runner friendly than it was last year??? Really, then I am sorry for the peeps who did it last year.
D.D., the rock that is my motivation, pushed me. We made it up the ridiculous hill that claimed my Army career. We pushed it at the end and sprinted across the finish line. I really couldnt feel my entier lower body for the sprint but I pushed it. I couldnt walk for two days, seriously, but I think it was worth it. And definitely look forward to the next one.
This weekend Toni calls me on Friday night and asks if I am running the Trek for Tristan 5K. I had no intention to but she really wanted to so I said I would if she did. We did. I sucked. My legs just arent strong enough and wouldnt go. We did the 5K in a ridiculous 49 minutes but it got done. That my friends, is all that matters.
Work has been ridiculous because of our 50th Anniversary Celebration but it is almost here and I know it will beyond worth it.
No more races for a while because of money and the holidays and vacation :D SOOOOOO EXCITED about vacation. I will be going to Florida and spending a week then a couple of days in Georgia. I get to see some really great people and catch up with my other family. I get to see Jekyl and St. Simon Islands (OCEAN! :D), eat Monroe's hot dogs and Marice's fried chicken. Visit Habitat for Humanity, see a beautiful Ga town, spanish moss and more. I will sit by the pool and run in the heat. I may even get to do Disneyworld. I really need a break and I am beyond blessed to have the opportunity to do this. It would not have been possible with out my other mother, Jean Turner. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING ALL WRAPPED UP IN ONE!
I pray all of you are doing well and look forward to telling you more soon.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
OH BUDDY!
Yesterday was extremely stressful and today was even worse. I know that things are going to be ten times better now but, WOW! I dont know that the craziness was work it but I think what i accomplished was worth it. I cant wait to hit the road and work through all the stress, the anxiety and unsuredness of the past week. It will be GREAT!
I think I may dress up for the Halloween Zumba class. Have to hit the dollar store tomorrow and get a few things. I am so glad to be back at the right time. I did so love my Zumba classes and Instructor. The DVD's just dont hold up to an in-person instructor.
My sister has decided to run the 5K. She is excited but nervous, just as I was the first go round. I will be running the 10K. I am just as nervous as I was for the 5K but more amped about finishing this one. It is half way to my half marathon. It has taken me a lot longer than it would most people but I am getting there. It will all work out eventually and I will be all kinds of rocking it.
Will let you know how it goes and get pics. See you then...
I think I may dress up for the Halloween Zumba class. Have to hit the dollar store tomorrow and get a few things. I am so glad to be back at the right time. I did so love my Zumba classes and Instructor. The DVD's just dont hold up to an in-person instructor.
My sister has decided to run the 5K. She is excited but nervous, just as I was the first go round. I will be running the 10K. I am just as nervous as I was for the 5K but more amped about finishing this one. It is half way to my half marathon. It has taken me a lot longer than it would most people but I am getting there. It will all work out eventually and I will be all kinds of rocking it.
Will let you know how it goes and get pics. See you then...
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
10K Here I come
So this weekend is the first 10K! It is going to be awesome. I am having my doubt stage right now but I am totally going to work through it. Like my great friend D.D. says, it is how fast you run or walk it is that you finish the race. I am so there! Also looking forward to the Studio Arriba Halloween Party Zumba night :D
The food thing is going great, really working at watching what I eat, getting in 1750-1900 calories depending on the workout and tracking EVERYTHING! You dont realize how much you put in or dont put in your mouth until you keep track. A deficit of 400 calories a day is not good and if you are working out it is REALLY not good. But I am working with it.
Work is getting crazy, 16 days and counting. When this whole 50th Celebration thing is over we will all sing and dance in rejoice.
CAN NOT! wait for Thanksgiving and my south east trip. Jekyl Island, St. Simon, Plains Ga & Habitat, Monroes Hot Dogs, Marrice's fried chicken, Birthday celebrations, deep south church visit, Disneyland, pool side fun, and more! No kidding it is going to be a busy two weeks but OOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!! How awesome it will be :D
Well gonna go, thanks for reading and believing.
Kandi
The food thing is going great, really working at watching what I eat, getting in 1750-1900 calories depending on the workout and tracking EVERYTHING! You dont realize how much you put in or dont put in your mouth until you keep track. A deficit of 400 calories a day is not good and if you are working out it is REALLY not good. But I am working with it.
Work is getting crazy, 16 days and counting. When this whole 50th Celebration thing is over we will all sing and dance in rejoice.
CAN NOT! wait for Thanksgiving and my south east trip. Jekyl Island, St. Simon, Plains Ga & Habitat, Monroes Hot Dogs, Marrice's fried chicken, Birthday celebrations, deep south church visit, Disneyland, pool side fun, and more! No kidding it is going to be a busy two weeks but OOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!! How awesome it will be :D
Well gonna go, thanks for reading and believing.
Kandi
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Rocking the food and makin it real
So this lady I know, Coach Samm (on Facecbook), keeps sayin that the key to loosing weight starts in the kitchen. I know it has a big impact but is it the key?
I started tracking what I was eating on myfitnesspal.com and WOW! First of all I have an average deficit of 400 calories, A DAY! I feel like I am shoving food in my mouth all the time. I have learned quite a few things from this little project. First is that while you might be shoving food in your mouth, if it isnt things your body needs to use for energy it isnt doing you any good. So although you can get 300 calories from a McDonald's Frappe and it fills you up and gives you energy, it is short lived and really spikes your blood sugar. Once your blood sugar is spiked it is hard for your body to balance but it is also hard for everything to settle down. Everything you eat after that point is used incorrectly by your body because it is trying to balance at the same time it is looking for what it needs.
Since I watched my food intake and tried balancing sugar, fat, and calories I have lost 6.6. pounds. NO KIDDING! While it doesnt seem like a lot it is RIDICULOUS for me. I have a hard time loosing weight period and to see any lose is great.
Add in the workouts that D.D. and Kaci and everyone who is a part of Team Quest and you get some pretty awesome moves, moods, and more :D
See ya again soon
I started tracking what I was eating on myfitnesspal.com and WOW! First of all I have an average deficit of 400 calories, A DAY! I feel like I am shoving food in my mouth all the time. I have learned quite a few things from this little project. First is that while you might be shoving food in your mouth, if it isnt things your body needs to use for energy it isnt doing you any good. So although you can get 300 calories from a McDonald's Frappe and it fills you up and gives you energy, it is short lived and really spikes your blood sugar. Once your blood sugar is spiked it is hard for your body to balance but it is also hard for everything to settle down. Everything you eat after that point is used incorrectly by your body because it is trying to balance at the same time it is looking for what it needs.
Since I watched my food intake and tried balancing sugar, fat, and calories I have lost 6.6. pounds. NO KIDDING! While it doesnt seem like a lot it is RIDICULOUS for me. I have a hard time loosing weight period and to see any lose is great.
Add in the workouts that D.D. and Kaci and everyone who is a part of Team Quest and you get some pretty awesome moves, moods, and more :D
See ya again soon
Monday, September 26, 2011
ZUMBA!! Oh yeah, shake that butt!
So Sunday was a down day but today we are BACK! Zumba tone and sculpt down and let me just say, BAITO, you got nothing on this!!!!!!!! Ha ha ha. Ate dinner and went for a bit of a walk around the block. My block is really my apartment complex which is a mile, and to think it was all to send a letter in the mail. Just kidding, it was just the excuse to get out.
I measured myself tonight and while I may have gained weight since the last time I weighed I have lost weight since March, and a couple of inches in several places. It isnt much but I guarantee you this is just the beginning. I am continuing to push myself and try to be positive about where I have come from and where I am going.
Thank you to everyone out there who is helping to support me and motivate me along the way.
Much love :D
I measured myself tonight and while I may have gained weight since the last time I weighed I have lost weight since March, and a couple of inches in several places. It isnt much but I guarantee you this is just the beginning. I am continuing to push myself and try to be positive about where I have come from and where I am going.
Thank you to everyone out there who is helping to support me and motivate me along the way.
Much love :D
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Struggling but making a choice to push through
So I dont know where I got it but I SUCK at trying to keep a journal or a blog. I know that in school now kids are required to keep a journal. Again, where was that when I was in school?
Well giving it another go so we will see what we get...
I went running today and was supposed to run 6.5 miles. I ran 5 and then my body seriously went on strike. No worries, wasnt anything major. I just went back to the car, stretched and headed home, determined to conquer the other 1.5 later in the day. I ended up taking a 2 hour nap and not accomplishing the other 1.5 so I will be doing it tomorrow with and extra 1.5 added in just for the sake of it.
I know it may sound a little crazy but when I was running I could feel my leg muscles bunch and release. My legs felt strong and I knew I was working it hard core! I saw deer playing in a field and felt like I had the strength to be in nature with them. That I was using the Earth in a way that was meant to be. That I belonged out there, I felt a part of something. The crisp, and I do mean CRISP, 49 degree weather was cold but it kept me cool as my body adjusted to pushing itself a little further and a little further.
I must say that even though I did 5 miles it didnt even seem remotely close to that. I put on my facebook that a year ago1 mile wasnt in my repotoire, six months ago 3 miles nearly killed me. And last week I found out that all my hard work has resulted in nothing other than a 3 lb weight gain. I was so frustrated that I wanted to quit. Go back to doing nothing and just complaining about the weight thing. Instead I said screw it! I feel better, I look better, and more importantly I am comfortable and really feel powerful when I run.
So here's to pushing through it, to running, to feeling a part of something and for making a choice to make a difference in me.
Hoping each of you has the courage to push yourself in whatever your struggle is.
Well giving it another go so we will see what we get...
I went running today and was supposed to run 6.5 miles. I ran 5 and then my body seriously went on strike. No worries, wasnt anything major. I just went back to the car, stretched and headed home, determined to conquer the other 1.5 later in the day. I ended up taking a 2 hour nap and not accomplishing the other 1.5 so I will be doing it tomorrow with and extra 1.5 added in just for the sake of it.
I know it may sound a little crazy but when I was running I could feel my leg muscles bunch and release. My legs felt strong and I knew I was working it hard core! I saw deer playing in a field and felt like I had the strength to be in nature with them. That I was using the Earth in a way that was meant to be. That I belonged out there, I felt a part of something. The crisp, and I do mean CRISP, 49 degree weather was cold but it kept me cool as my body adjusted to pushing itself a little further and a little further.
I must say that even though I did 5 miles it didnt even seem remotely close to that. I put on my facebook that a year ago1 mile wasnt in my repotoire, six months ago 3 miles nearly killed me. And last week I found out that all my hard work has resulted in nothing other than a 3 lb weight gain. I was so frustrated that I wanted to quit. Go back to doing nothing and just complaining about the weight thing. Instead I said screw it! I feel better, I look better, and more importantly I am comfortable and really feel powerful when I run.
So here's to pushing through it, to running, to feeling a part of something and for making a choice to make a difference in me.
Hoping each of you has the courage to push yourself in whatever your struggle is.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sometimes you just have to add shortening...
Okay so I am making banana nut bread cupcakes. I found a Paula Deen recipe that is AMAZING! It has you add shortening and buttermilk. While I couldnt make myself use both, I chose the shortening over the buttermilk. While I am sitting here waiting for them to come out golden brown and delicious I am looking at photos of myself.
This is where the title of this blog has nothing to do with the rest.
I was looking in the rearview mirror today while sitting in the back seat of a vehicle. I noticed that I look fat. Now, you know me and the word FAT is not one I use. But today, I am really feeling it. Perhaps it is because of the wonderful friends I have found that are pushing me to better myselves. Perhaps it is because of a great friend who still looks amazing after two kids. In any case, I have decided it is time. I have always found that while I eat extremely healthily there is something holding me back. I will be honest and let you know the secret, it is will power.
Will power to not eat that second bowl of cereal, to not go for the ridiculously high sodium bowl of Ramen, the cream in the coffee, okay, sometimes even the McDonalds MOCHA FRAPPE, YUM!!!!!!!!!! I understand that all things considered you should treat yourself. But once a month, possibly once a week is probably enough. Starting tomorrow I am going to get back on track. I will be sticking to my running schedule of tuesday, thursday, and saturday. I will be doing Zumba on Monday and Wednesday and kayaking or hiking on Sunday. IT WILL BE AWESOME!
I will be adding tuna back in to my diet, YUCK! but it must be done. If anyone has a way to eat it that is low in carbs vs. bread or crackers, please share. I will cut out most of the sugar tea, perhaps allow myself one cup on fridays with dinner. All thoughts lead to getting healthy. Not loosing weight but being healthy.
I need to loose inches so if anyone has tricks that perhaps I dont know about, please forward them to me. Even if you think I have heard of them, send them my way. I am so interested.
Have a happy and healthy week people.
This is where the title of this blog has nothing to do with the rest.
I was looking in the rearview mirror today while sitting in the back seat of a vehicle. I noticed that I look fat. Now, you know me and the word FAT is not one I use. But today, I am really feeling it. Perhaps it is because of the wonderful friends I have found that are pushing me to better myselves. Perhaps it is because of a great friend who still looks amazing after two kids. In any case, I have decided it is time. I have always found that while I eat extremely healthily there is something holding me back. I will be honest and let you know the secret, it is will power.
Will power to not eat that second bowl of cereal, to not go for the ridiculously high sodium bowl of Ramen, the cream in the coffee, okay, sometimes even the McDonalds MOCHA FRAPPE, YUM!!!!!!!!!! I understand that all things considered you should treat yourself. But once a month, possibly once a week is probably enough. Starting tomorrow I am going to get back on track. I will be sticking to my running schedule of tuesday, thursday, and saturday. I will be doing Zumba on Monday and Wednesday and kayaking or hiking on Sunday. IT WILL BE AWESOME!
I will be adding tuna back in to my diet, YUCK! but it must be done. If anyone has a way to eat it that is low in carbs vs. bread or crackers, please share. I will cut out most of the sugar tea, perhaps allow myself one cup on fridays with dinner. All thoughts lead to getting healthy. Not loosing weight but being healthy.
I need to loose inches so if anyone has tricks that perhaps I dont know about, please forward them to me. Even if you think I have heard of them, send them my way. I am so interested.
Have a happy and healthy week people.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Writing a paper and thinking it through...
I really need to be working on my paper, but I just can't seem to make it happen. So I am going to use this blog to talk my way through some thoughts, and see what I get. Far warning...
I decided to write this paper about self-talk. You would think I have plenty to say; in all actuality, I do. I would say that everyday, in every situation there is always something going through my head saying you are not good enough, why are you doing that, you should try harder, just give up already. I bet if I took a poll right now, I would not be alone. I would guess that at some point or another, more than 90% of you would have thought something about yourself today that needed more consideration.
I think it is safe to say that we all struggle with something. Some people struggle with weight (check), some struggle with money (check), some struggle with an addiction (check), some struggle with perfection or the lack thereof (check and check). When you struggle with something often times there is a conversation to resolve or move on from said struggle. Some of us have friends or family that we can talk to about the struggles in life. Some of us feel comfortable talking about some things but possibly not all things with friends or family. Some us don’t feel we have that outlet and while others may judge us for that, it simply is. This is where self-talk comes into play. When we don’t have an outlet, or won’t use one, we turn inward. We criticize or try to rationalize our behaviors. We work our way through what is right or wrong, why it is right or wrong, and where we go from there. While we work through those ideas we narrate the story as it was, as it is, and how it should be. In the end we come to an expression of that dialogue. It is an expression of who we are, where we have been and where we will go.
While I think the majority of things that go through our heads are struggles, complaints and the like, I don’t think they necessarily have to be negative. I think every once in a while a good thought slips through. Things like, way to go!, that looks awesome, keep it up, or you are doing great. I would argue that these are few and far between but what if they didn’t have to be, what if they weren’t?
In order to get to this point I think we need to look at what happens when we consider, what process occurs within ourselves that allows us to get to or through the situation. Self-narrative is exactly that, the consideration process. It begins with cognitive disonance, the uneasy feeling between what you think and what you do, which leads to internal dialogue (intrapersonal communication) in the form of a critic or rationalizer, ending with self-expression, the way you present what it is you haved discussed with yourself to the world.
So lets break each piece down and see what we come up with, a paper perhaps?
Anyway, off to finish the works. Thanks for letting me work this out and if you read this let me know your thoughts.
I decided to write this paper about self-talk. You would think I have plenty to say; in all actuality, I do. I would say that everyday, in every situation there is always something going through my head saying you are not good enough, why are you doing that, you should try harder, just give up already. I bet if I took a poll right now, I would not be alone. I would guess that at some point or another, more than 90% of you would have thought something about yourself today that needed more consideration.
I think it is safe to say that we all struggle with something. Some people struggle with weight (check), some struggle with money (check), some struggle with an addiction (check), some struggle with perfection or the lack thereof (check and check). When you struggle with something often times there is a conversation to resolve or move on from said struggle. Some of us have friends or family that we can talk to about the struggles in life. Some of us feel comfortable talking about some things but possibly not all things with friends or family. Some us don’t feel we have that outlet and while others may judge us for that, it simply is. This is where self-talk comes into play. When we don’t have an outlet, or won’t use one, we turn inward. We criticize or try to rationalize our behaviors. We work our way through what is right or wrong, why it is right or wrong, and where we go from there. While we work through those ideas we narrate the story as it was, as it is, and how it should be. In the end we come to an expression of that dialogue. It is an expression of who we are, where we have been and where we will go.
While I think the majority of things that go through our heads are struggles, complaints and the like, I don’t think they necessarily have to be negative. I think every once in a while a good thought slips through. Things like, way to go!, that looks awesome, keep it up, or you are doing great. I would argue that these are few and far between but what if they didn’t have to be, what if they weren’t?
In order to get to this point I think we need to look at what happens when we consider, what process occurs within ourselves that allows us to get to or through the situation. Self-narrative is exactly that, the consideration process. It begins with cognitive disonance, the uneasy feeling between what you think and what you do, which leads to internal dialogue (intrapersonal communication) in the form of a critic or rationalizer, ending with self-expression, the way you present what it is you haved discussed with yourself to the world.
So lets break each piece down and see what we come up with, a paper perhaps?
Anyway, off to finish the works. Thanks for letting me work this out and if you read this let me know your thoughts.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Quick catch up...
So I dont have much, but here is a quick recap of the last couple of weeks.
2 weeks ago had surgery. Gall bladder out and some exploratory. Stayed with my parents because they knew if they left me alone I would miss behave. I was also on some pretty amazing drugs that would knock me out in about five minutes. Cant do any working out for 6 weeks, BOO! But I can eat EVERYTHING! Spicy, sweet, dairy, it is great!
Trying to keep myself busy with not eating or cooking. Been watchin a ton of movies and loving the great movies of years past. Some of them were a little twilight zonish, others were just flat out hysterical, there were some sad ones and some I just couldnt get into. Thank you Tina for letting me borrow some great flicks.
Elane got to go to the KC Zoo, dont tell anyone but we prefer the one in Saint Louis. We are thinking about tracking up north to hit the other big one, blame it on anesthesia brain that I cant remember the name. She loved the polar bear and the baboons and the giraffe's.
Took a treck up to Saint Louis for the celebrations of birthdays. Toni's July 1st, mine July 2nd and Grandpa's on July 3rd. It was great, like a mini family reunion. Aunt's and Uncle's we havent seen in years all got together.
Got to go back to work on Thursday, THANK GOD for being out of the apartment and mobile! I can only take so much of sitting around. Wishin I could have used the vacation for a real vacation but just means I will have to make next years far more exciting :D
Toni and Steve got another puppy last week. His name is Mac. He is a boxer puppy with white base and brown spots. He kind of looks like a paint puppy. The coolest part is his eyes. One is bright sky blue and the other is like a green color. His head is HUGE! He is definitely a cutie and will melt the hearts of all.
I am inheriting two cats for a while because Ms. Jean and Mr. Roy are moving to Florida. I will miss them immensely but I am glad they will get to relax and enjoy life, probably by the poolside, ARGH! Just kidding. It will be nice to have a few friends staying with me for a while and even better is that I can then take vacations to FLORIDA! Oh yeah :D
So anyway, I think I got you all caught up. Hope you are all well, please let me know.
2 weeks ago had surgery. Gall bladder out and some exploratory. Stayed with my parents because they knew if they left me alone I would miss behave. I was also on some pretty amazing drugs that would knock me out in about five minutes. Cant do any working out for 6 weeks, BOO! But I can eat EVERYTHING! Spicy, sweet, dairy, it is great!
Trying to keep myself busy with not eating or cooking. Been watchin a ton of movies and loving the great movies of years past. Some of them were a little twilight zonish, others were just flat out hysterical, there were some sad ones and some I just couldnt get into. Thank you Tina for letting me borrow some great flicks.
Elane got to go to the KC Zoo, dont tell anyone but we prefer the one in Saint Louis. We are thinking about tracking up north to hit the other big one, blame it on anesthesia brain that I cant remember the name. She loved the polar bear and the baboons and the giraffe's.
Took a treck up to Saint Louis for the celebrations of birthdays. Toni's July 1st, mine July 2nd and Grandpa's on July 3rd. It was great, like a mini family reunion. Aunt's and Uncle's we havent seen in years all got together.
Got to go back to work on Thursday, THANK GOD for being out of the apartment and mobile! I can only take so much of sitting around. Wishin I could have used the vacation for a real vacation but just means I will have to make next years far more exciting :D
Toni and Steve got another puppy last week. His name is Mac. He is a boxer puppy with white base and brown spots. He kind of looks like a paint puppy. The coolest part is his eyes. One is bright sky blue and the other is like a green color. His head is HUGE! He is definitely a cutie and will melt the hearts of all.
I am inheriting two cats for a while because Ms. Jean and Mr. Roy are moving to Florida. I will miss them immensely but I am glad they will get to relax and enjoy life, probably by the poolside, ARGH! Just kidding. It will be nice to have a few friends staying with me for a while and even better is that I can then take vacations to FLORIDA! Oh yeah :D
So anyway, I think I got you all caught up. Hope you are all well, please let me know.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Memorial Day Celebrtaion at the Station
First and foremost I want to send a heart felt
THANK YOU
out to all those men and women across time, across nations, who have given the most important part of who they are to protect and provide safety and freedom for the trillions of people in the world.
I know to often you are asked to leave your family, friends, and loved ones behind to do unthinkable things in unimaginable conditions while people who are ignorant judge you.
I pray with all my heart that each and everyone of one you makes it home safe and are able to make a life, much the one you deserve for giving life and freedom to so many others.
In honor of those who have fought and are still fitting KC puts on a celebraation at Union Station. It was amazing and I highly recommend it. Here are the highlights...
In honor of those who have fought and are still fitting KC puts on a celebraation at Union Station. It was amazing and I highly recommend it. Here are the highlights...
Looking down the hill at Union Station
Looking up the hill towards the National WWI Museum
The Diana exhibit is in town until June 12, I would love to go but cant afford the thirty dollar tickets. But as the sun goes down, I forget all about Diana.
The orchestra began to play...
The wonder of lights, music, and the amazing memories of soldiers past and present bring me back to why we all were really there...remembering them.
All branches of the military were represented as the Kansas City Symphony played taps. Yes I BAWLED. They did a nine cannon salute instead of the usual 3 gun, it was beautiful and more heart wrenching then ever. They followed it up with Amazing Grace, adding more tears to the mix.
The lights on the building changed with the music until the end.
And then the fun of the night began...
We all turned around to see the memorial, like a bekon in the night
This is the eternal flame at the top of the memorial. You cant see it during the day but at night it flies high even in the insane wind.
And then the cannons rang out again followed by the most beautiful fireworks ever!
My thanks to Grandpa G, Great Grandpa Mathis, Grandpa O, Dad, Ruben, Jean, Roy, Lon, Bob, Jim, Monte, Bo, Duane, Duff, Jeff, Chris, Clint, Bo, Dale, Dan, Terry, Darrell, Phil, Brenda, Steven, Andrew, Drew, Jared, Timmy, Darius, John, Rod, Staley, Novotny, Tabitha, Gregory, Brian, Carl, Stephen, Daniel, Derek, Bobby, Keith, Kevin, Brad, Mike, Bill, Blake, Jay, Corey, Jason, David, Jack, and Cecil. And to all the other military brats, moms, dads, friends and other family members that I have had the privlege of knowing.
Love you guys-
Kandi
Sunday, May 22, 2011
First Fishing Fun!
Elane, Toni, Steve, Mom and Dad all came up to try their hands at the lakes by my house. We only went to one but it was and awesome day. We had some storms right when they were driving into my complex but the sun came out quickly.
Here is a little of the days happenings...
She caught the first fish, we were all jealous but she was so excited we couldnt be too mad.
And the third...
Then mommy caught one and we started having hope that we might catch up...
Then mommy caught a different kind of treat...
She even heald it! And I so got the proof. :D
Then we got more threatening signs like the back side of a wall cloud but then it moved on and things stayed beautifully sunny all day!! Thank you God for the sun and good times with great people.
Her fourth fish, daddy let her touch it and papa was trying to get her to kiss it! UGH!
And the final fish of the day just to show off...
All in all it was a great day. Toni just sent me a pic of her passed out in the back of the truck on the way home. Guess not getting a nap caught up with her eventually.
Hope you enjoyed today and got some of the sun we did
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Claude Monet Triptec...a dream come true
So I went with some amazing friends today, Matt and Shannon to see the Claude Monet Triptec Agapanthus or Water Lillies to most.
The triptec was so named because of a plant that in the finished product no longer exists.
The museum did studies of the paintings and cross sectioned the layers so that those who were looking at it with a naked eye could see the wonders that unfolded beneath each layer. Along with the plant missing in the far left bottom corner there were many other things that changed along the way. It was like he painted what he saw as he went along and as time progressed so did the painting.
I wanted to feel it. To feel the texture to feel the paint. His brush strokes were so controled for such an uncontrolled end. They asked me to step away, unwillingly I stepped back and admired from a distance.
I have seen his paintings numerous times. I have studied his brush strokes, the way he used color to decipher depth, but it never seemed as real as it did today. I sat for hours looking at these paintings. Contemplating the time of day, where in the garden he was standing and coming up with a ridiculous amount of questions I wanted to ask.
It seems that Monet also did not sign things until he completed them to his liking, which was not often. He was afraid he had ruined this one. He started painting before he had cataract surgery to fix his vision. He then left the paintings to sit for a year while he healed. He then went to work at completing the set. The color scheme changed dramatically from wild vibrant true tones to a new muted landscape. I know this is an artist thing but I wonder if where he was in life changed the way he painted. Did the surgery make such an impact that the light in his life was more muted? So anyway, back to the not signing, it seems after he died his son found the rubber stamp he used to put his signature on his works and added it. I find that hysterically funny because as most of you know I quite frequently forget to sign mine. Maybe I should have a stamp made as well.
Anyway, it was an amazing day. I got to be a part of history, a part of something that has touched the lives of many and will continue on through wonderful museum that do this amazing work.
So thank you to the Nelson Atkins Museum and to Claude Monet for stepping outside of the box, no giving us a horizon line, and making just appreciate the art for what it is. I would love to hear your thoughts if you too have been lucky enough to see these works in person.
The triptec was so named because of a plant that in the finished product no longer exists.
The museum did studies of the paintings and cross sectioned the layers so that those who were looking at it with a naked eye could see the wonders that unfolded beneath each layer. Along with the plant missing in the far left bottom corner there were many other things that changed along the way. It was like he painted what he saw as he went along and as time progressed so did the painting.
I wanted to feel it. To feel the texture to feel the paint. His brush strokes were so controled for such an uncontrolled end. They asked me to step away, unwillingly I stepped back and admired from a distance.
I have seen his paintings numerous times. I have studied his brush strokes, the way he used color to decipher depth, but it never seemed as real as it did today. I sat for hours looking at these paintings. Contemplating the time of day, where in the garden he was standing and coming up with a ridiculous amount of questions I wanted to ask.
It seems that Monet also did not sign things until he completed them to his liking, which was not often. He was afraid he had ruined this one. He started painting before he had cataract surgery to fix his vision. He then left the paintings to sit for a year while he healed. He then went to work at completing the set. The color scheme changed dramatically from wild vibrant true tones to a new muted landscape. I know this is an artist thing but I wonder if where he was in life changed the way he painted. Did the surgery make such an impact that the light in his life was more muted? So anyway, back to the not signing, it seems after he died his son found the rubber stamp he used to put his signature on his works and added it. I find that hysterically funny because as most of you know I quite frequently forget to sign mine. Maybe I should have a stamp made as well.
Anyway, it was an amazing day. I got to be a part of history, a part of something that has touched the lives of many and will continue on through wonderful museum that do this amazing work.
So thank you to the Nelson Atkins Museum and to Claude Monet for stepping outside of the box, no giving us a horizon line, and making just appreciate the art for what it is. I would love to hear your thoughts if you too have been lucky enough to see these works in person.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield...
So I am thoroughly convinced that no one reads this. I used to be bothered by that. Now, I just say so be it.
I will continue to share the stories of this worl with those who will listen and if they listen I only hope that they too will share their stories with me.
I watched the movie One Week today. It is probably one of the best movies that I have ever seen. It was beautiful. For the landscape, the honesty, the richness and the truth. Some might say it was depressing but let me just say to those people, live life like you only have one week to live and see how much that changes everything.
So if I only had one week to live, what would I do... I know the first thing I would do is get to an ocean. From there I would just take it one day at a time and see what happened.
What would you do if you only had one week to live?
I will continue to share the stories of this worl with those who will listen and if they listen I only hope that they too will share their stories with me.
I watched the movie One Week today. It is probably one of the best movies that I have ever seen. It was beautiful. For the landscape, the honesty, the richness and the truth. Some might say it was depressing but let me just say to those people, live life like you only have one week to live and see how much that changes everything.
So if I only had one week to live, what would I do... I know the first thing I would do is get to an ocean. From there I would just take it one day at a time and see what happened.
What would you do if you only had one week to live?
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