Planet Sub Cashier Godsmacked me

So, on Tuesday I went home to tag, title and license the truck. Dad and I decided to grab lunch right quick before he had to go to work and that is when it happened. UGH!  Yep another Godsmack.

I am standing in line at Planet Sub and I have already ordered and I say "and whatever he wants..." and dad orders. I go to hand the guy my card as my dad is throwing  twenty at him. The guy looks at me and flat out takes my dad's twenty. I am pissed because I was paying for lunch to say thanks for dad taking me around to help with my truck.

When I ask the guy why he took dads money he said "Because he is a gentlemen".

WHAT! REALLY?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

Yes, that was my first reaction. Then as I sat there waiting for them to bring out the subs I began to think. Which, as we know, is never good. But it occured to me that I was fighting with my dad over a sub sandwich. Not because it was devastational to me that he paid, not because I didnt appreciate him paying, but just because, because, yep, that was it, SMACK!

Why did I need to fight with him over a sub sandwich. He was showing me he loved me one of the ways he always has. But I always seem to fight with him about it because I feel I have to.

I feel I have to because he has spent 30 years taking care of me and I was always pissed about something. I was mad about his job, I was mad about a lot of things and I never just said thank you. I never once just let him do something without making a big deal of things.

I do this with all guys because I dont want them to take care of me, because, as my 4 year old niece says, "I can do it myself". I should just back off and let them pay for the sub and see what happens.

I chose to make an intentional decision about letting guys help, letting them pay and not feeling bad about it.

Thank you Planet Sub cashier guy for the Godsmack.

The innocence of little people

I went to a couple of the KCYA ballet and theatre classes this weekend to take pics for a few marketing things I am working on. It amazed me and intrigued me as I sat there taking pictures of how amazing, care free and real kids are. They all were having a blast and just being thmeselves. Even when a person with a camera was watching and snapping immense amounts of pictures of them they were real. They tried hard to keep their toes pointed, their backs straight and arms extended.

They were beautiful with their hearts opened wide at the possibility of what the world has to hold. I miss that feeling and dont know when it happened. I dont remember a specific date or a specific event that made the future seem impossible.

I think this retrospect comes at a great time with the holiday season coming up. The world, the children of the wolrd still have the greatest gift of all time. They can believe, they can trust, and they can be innocent with honestness of who they are. I vow to be a little more open this season. To be thankful for all things and willing to try new things. To be amazed by the little things that kids marvel at. I vow to learn from them and remember what it was like to just be.

Thank you to all the kids I saw this weekend and for God opening my eyes to one of the things I miss the most.

Thought

Okay, so I was having a random thought today and I would like your input. Be honest, boy or girl, and tell me your thoughts.

So this really hot guy came and connected my internet for me on Saturday. I talked, I flirted, and sadly I realized that he was at work and that he couldnt ask me for my number.

So, here is the question I pose, would it have been appropriate for him to ask? Should he have said screw it?

Would it have been appropriate for me to ask him fo his? Should I have said screw it?

Other thoughts?

Realness part 2

So I had planned to do this more often but didnt have a way to get to the internet. Now, I do. So here is the second part of my realness segment and the beginning of the truth.

I went to a Cassarole party today. It was my first and I met some really great people there. I stepped outside my box and actually introduced myself to some people there. I noticed two things, I couldnt talk to the pretty girls and I couldnt talk to the guys. I know that I can, there was just this barrier that stopped me. So, I vow to work on this.

Last week I started running again. Well run/walking at Loose Park. First I would like to say this is a beautiful park. There is a lot of history there as well. I was running and had just started getting to the point were I am sucking air because I dont breath right when an older gentleman walked by and clapped at me. I almost decked him. My gut reaction is to be like, "What the hell is your problem asshole, just because I am fat doesnt mean I am out of shape or dont like to work out."  I didnt I kept running and kept it in. I rounded the next corner and there was another guy walking and he clapped at me as I walked by. This through me over the edge, I lost all track of my breathing and running and couldnt keep going so I just started walking and gave up. I dont understand why I let those people have such a huge impact on my life but more importantly I dont know why I always think the most negative possibility. I automatically went to the idea that they were making fun of me instead of thinking that possibily they were rooting me on. Saying "Good job, keep it up".

This made me do a bit of self reflection about the negativity that I let myself fall into. So I have decided to try to be more positive and optimistic. I have made the decision to be intentional in my being positive instead of negative. I challenge you to do the same. When someone gives you that look that drives you crazy, go up to them, say hi and turn the negative reaction into something positive. When it is raining outside, or snowing :0(, I plan on being thankful because that means the Earth is healing itself and we still have a great piece of nature.

I have been doing more and more outside of my bubble and learning how much I missed by staying in all
the time. Kansas City is a huge town. I say this because it is a city but really has a small town feel. There is a ton of things to do here. There are a lot of great things that you can do for free, or really really cheap. I hope you guys can come and see some of the amazingness of Kansas City and I hope I get to see you here.

Try to be positive and be intentional, if you fail, try a little harder the next day.