More than Ordinary

My Definition of Success

2012-01-11T17:40:00.000-08:00

OH WOW! Can we start with an easier one?

I guess not so here goes. . .

My definition of success is-
Knowing at the end of the day that I chose to make positive decisions, allowing myself to take care of myself, believe in myself, and be a great role model for others (mainly E).

So here are a few of the steps I am going to take to make my environment reflect this definition:
1) Call E at least once a week just to talk, ask her how she is, ask her about one positive thing from her week and tell her one positive thing about my week.
2) QUIT SECOND GUESSING EVERYTHING! You are an intelligent person with lots of experiences to draw from, trust in that.
3) Take one negative thing everyday and change it to a positive.
4) Take at least one hour a day to workout and focus on the meals of the day.

This is just a place to start but will make more as I go along.

What is your definition of success?

PUSH Goal!!!

2011-12-15T14:37:00.000-08:00

Okay, so who knew when I started this four weeks ago what God had in store for me and my PUSH goal. When I started this Chalene thing, I had my doubts, I have my hold-ups, but I pushed forward and guess what! IT WORKED! I realized that I was the only one that was going to change things. I had to take steps to make those goals happen and that decision was mine to make, no one was going to do it for me, and no one was going to help me. So I applied for a job, not having any expectations that I would even get an interview. I got the interview, I got the assignment and I got the JOB! I am now the Marketing and Graphics Coordinator for Starlight Theatre :D WAHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Thank you Chalene for giving me support, thank you team Maui for support, thank you for all those believed in me and thank you for being proud and excited for me.

So now I am on to the next step which is fitness goals. Let's be honest, obviously not a strong suite but I am determined and I am going to make a change.

The key is to be SMART. Small, measureable, acheivable, rewarding and time sensitive.

For Small I am going to start with this, I will go to the gym 3 days a week and get on the most horrible of machines, a treadmill to do my running, I am doing this because the outside running isnt working for me. It is too cold and I dont have the right attire to run in this.

For Measureable I will keep track on a calendar that will have stickers. I will keep it at work so that I have to look at it for 8 hours a day. Making me feel bad about it if I slack and really keeping me accountable with myself. Yes, I realize it is sad I have to keep myself accountable but really, I am being honest that I do so back off.

Acheiable leaves me with the fact that I know I can do it, I have done it.

Rewarding, this will be rewarding for me because I feel healthier, I feel more energized, I am happier, and I will loose water, inches and weight.

Time-Sensitive, I am giving this 4weeks, if I follow through I will buy myself a new pair of running shoes which I need badly and secretly love getting :D

This will put me one step closer to my overall PUSH goal halth.fitness related of running the disney half.

The positive side effects of doing this are:
Fell better- healthier
More energized
Better skin
Less stomach issues
Smaller stomach
Harder muscles
Better Cholesterol score
Better Blood Pressure
Cooler clothes
New shoes
Sexiness
More approachable

PUSH

2011-11-23T17:46:00.000-08:00

The PUSH goal is one that makes all the others possible.

For me, obviously money is an issue. In order to pay the bills, I need to make more, to make more I have to have a better paying job.

So here is my PUSH goal:
Get a job doing marketing that pays well and isnt me doing somebody else's work, ALL THE TIME!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I am going to start my entire self change thing then. I have my exercise and food calendar/motivational chart, I will log into myfitensspal.com and log my food intake and workouts each day, I have applied for a job and will we see what happens, I have put a little more into the hospital bills, thank you government loans for deferring my school loans for 6 months, I have ideas for christmas that are very cheap but I know EVERYONE will love it, or at least I hope.

I am off to the wonderful Florida and Georgia as of 4 am tomorrow morning. I am looking forward to it and hope that the sun and happy uplifting people will fuel the fire that is change.

Until then...

UGH THE GOALS!

2011-11-21T18:23:00.000-08:00

I cant move on until I have these laid out but I seriously cant think of anything. Well I can think of a 1,000 things but none of which I can accomplish until I complete these. I have to do this for myself, no one else can help, I cant do these for other people.
1) I have spent the last 12 months training for the Disney Half Marathon and completed it

2) I have made my workout and food completion sheet

3) I have focused on my meals, meeting the caloric intake of 1900 a day, with 6 small meals and snacks to keep my metabolism going and will log it in myfitnesspal.com.

4) I have paid off ALL the hospital bills

5) I have committed one week a year to completely disconnect, no facebook, no email, no ipod, no cellphone

6) I have met 12 new people and weeded through to find the positive and uplifting ones

7) I focused on my Masters in Comm papers and have completed them both

8) I completed 4 paintings in the last 12 months and am working on getting them in a gallery

9) I have paid off my cc and have not used it

10) I have used my tax return to roll my cd into a Roth IRA, the beginning of a great future

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All it takes is a little time and a lot of honesty on my part! Gotta start somewhere. :D

A tough decision...a real heart

2011-11-20T06:28:00.000-08:00

So on this Chalene JUMP challenge, some of the info is in a video and the rest is written. I will be honest and say that I totally watched the video and then I skimmed the written part below. NOT COOL! I totally missed on Day 1 that I was supposed to make a top priority statement.

When a friend brought that to my attention and I realized that I had to make a tough decision. Do I make my family my number one priority or do I make myself my number one priority. I already hear some baulking so let me explain.

This is hard for me to say because my family is such a huge part of who I am. Growing up in the military you have friends, good friends, but often times those relationships fade when you move to a new base and have to make new friends. If you are lucky you will meet a friend that holds on through multiple moves and truly cares. I have been lucky to have a few of those, (Trey, Phil, Bo, Steph, Leta,...) but mostly it was an out of sight out of mind relational sort of growing up. You hold on to those that are around you. You make special bonds with family. By family most of you are probably thinking grandma, grandpas, aunts, uncles, etc. In the military, that is another luxury you dont have. I dont remember meeting my grandparents until the fourth grade. This was a tough situation because we had to live with people we didnt really know because my mom was sick. We moved from Okinawa Japan to St. Louis MO and our lives were completely changed in less than a month.

While it was great being in a new place and meeting new people it was tough to be a kid then. My grandparents were great! They really got us involved in the community, they let us be kids, they disciplined us, but at this point in my life, I feel something changed. I went from being a kid to being the caretaker. I worried constantly about my brother and sister and how they were taking being away from mom and dad. I worried about mom and dad. I worried about the what if's and not really knowing what was going on believe me, there were a lot of pretty bad what if's. But in the end it brought us closer. We finally got to meet our extended family and they became a part of our lives.

So for me, immediate family is not only your family, they are your closest friends, your confidants, and even when you are spitting mad at them, they are the only ones there to fall back on. You dont have the luxury of leaving your friends (a.k.a. your family) to make a different type of bond. You learn and grow with your family, your forgive things that other friends wouldnt, you know that person for who they are truely, you are there no matter what. So to say that they are second on my list takes some real effort.

While my family is ridiculously important to me there is a point where I have to make a life for myself that will give me a future unlike anything I have ever imagined. I have put a lot of thought into this and I think my being secure in my financial standing, my health, my weight, my relationships outside of my family as well as within my family, will be the piece that is currently missing.

If I am more secure with myself, the relationships I have with others will either grow or dissolve. That is a scary notion, the dissolving of relationships. But, I want to surround myself with positive people. If the people in my life dont understand that then our relationship is not the sort I need to be in. It will either grow and mature to something powerful or crash miserably into the abyss. Either way, I am ready to make that change.

In order to get to that place I need to be seure with who I am, where I am in my life, and realize that change is something I have to make happen, it isnt just going to fall into my lap. I want to stand in the mirror and not see a unhealthy person, I want to see tone muscle, I want to see glowing skin, I want to see a happy person. I want to not question every move I make. I want to be proud of my work and really feel like I am making a difference. I want to look at the bills coming in each month and know exactly how I am going to tackle and that there is an end in sight.

By focusing on my security, I will be more open in my relationships. I will have more energy for my 5 year old niece, who frankly, runs my a** ragged. I will be more secure with my appearance, my abilities, my talents. This will do more for myself and in turn, for my family.

So there is the bombshell. I am open to talking about this if anyone has questions. I would love to tell you about Chalene's Jump program if you are interested.

Its a lot to take in on a Sunday but I cant think of a better day to start.

Day 2- Goal Setting

2011-11-19T11:14:00.000-08:00

"The vital difference between dreamers and achievers boils down to some very basic, simple habits". Decide your goals, write them down and consistently check in, got it...
Here goes. Challenging and rewarding all at the same time, realness here we go...

1) In have spent the last 12 months training for the Disney Half Marathon and completed it.
     a) I created a workout regimen for each month
     b) I entered my food into myfitnesspal.com
     c) I checked in with my accountability partner and made sure she was staying on track
2) I have paid off my cc and have not used it
3) I focused on my Masters in Comm papers and have completed them both
4) I have met 12 new people and weeded through to find the positive and uplifting ones
5) I completed 4 paintings in the last 12 months and am working on getting them in a gallery
6) I have committed one week a year to completely disconnect, no facebook, no email, no ipod, no cellphone
7) I have paid off ALL the hospital bills
8) .......

Okay, needing to think on some others. I know one is a relationship but I am not sure what I want. Is it wrong that I dont know what I want? I dont know that I want to be married. I want to be in a meaningful relationship. One where communication is key and while there are arguments and disagreements, there is understanding and honesty without regret.

So anyway, more thinking...

A little about me...

2011-11-17T16:45:00.000-08:00

Just started Chalene Johnson's PUSH program. If you dont know what it is, go to chalenejohnson.com/pushstart

Top three priorities:

1) Family
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: my family is my everything. This extends to grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends who are close enough to be my family. They surround me with love, joy, sorrow, culture, character, and headaches, but at the end of the day, there is no one I trust more.

I will honor my number-one priority by doing my best to: Staying in touch, checking in with them at least once a month whether it be email, phone, facebook, whatever. Spending time with my immediate family at least once a month, make it happen.

To honor my number-one priority, I need to make the following changes: Carving out one weekend a month for family.

2) Being secure
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: This covers a lot of aspects of my life, financial, relational, and personal.

I will honor my number-two priority by doing my best to: work on my budget and try to get my debt paid off by tackling the smaller numbers first then resituating those funds to a the next biggest when the smaller is paid off. Work on my relationships by going out to more non-profit connect get togethers. Making time to go see friends and really keep in touch. Personal security by working on my fears and doubts, pushing myself past those physical barriers and looking the fears I have in the face.

The following action(s) would be inconsistent with my commitment to my top priority: Walking when I know I can run 6.2 miles, not doing that extra push up because I am lazy, not working out because I am tired, putting something on my credit card just so I can go do something with friends, planning out my grocery list and working towards putting extra money towards my hospital bills, cc, and student loans.

3) Giving back
The reason(s) I have placed the greatest importance on this area of my life is because: I never want to forget where I started and how far I have come. I want to thank the people that have helped me get this far by giving back and helping others. Feed those that dont have food, build houses for those that have lost everything, help someone write a resume.

More to come...

10K, 5K, and then some

2011-11-08T18:51:00.000-08:00

So the weekend before last I ran the 10K. OIE! The night before we decided to do Zumba for the Halloween party. We didnt know that it was a hour and a half or two hours. It was CRAZY! The best halloween party I have ever been too. YAY! For grown ups who get to dress up and act like kids.

Okay, lets talk about pain. WHEW! I know that I didnt train enough for it before hand but the 10K was KILLER. I was working hard and pushing myself the entire time but I know I could have done way better. I finished in one hour and thirty eight minutes. I will say though that it was stellar for my first 10K. This hills were ridiculous and all I could hear in my head was the race announcer saying that this years race was a lot more runner friendly than it was last year??? Really, then I am sorry for the peeps who did it last year.

D.D., the rock that is my motivation, pushed me. We made it up the ridiculous hill that claimed my Army career. We pushed it at the end and sprinted across the finish line. I really couldnt feel my entier lower body for the sprint but I pushed it. I couldnt walk for two days, seriously, but I think it was worth it. And definitely look forward to the next one.

This weekend Toni calls me on Friday night and asks if I am running the Trek for Tristan 5K. I had no intention to but she really wanted to so I said I would if she did. We did. I sucked. My legs just arent strong enough and wouldnt go. We did the 5K in a ridiculous 49 minutes but it got done. That my friends, is all that matters.

Work has been ridiculous because of our 50th Anniversary Celebration but it is almost here and I know it will beyond worth it.

No more races for a while because of money and the holidays and vacation :D SOOOOOO EXCITED about vacation. I will be going to Florida and spending a week then a couple of days in Georgia. I get to see some really great people and catch up with my other family. I get to see Jekyl and St. Simon Islands (OCEAN! :D), eat Monroe's hot dogs and Marice's fried chicken. Visit Habitat for Humanity, see a beautiful Ga town, spanish moss and more. I will sit by the pool and run in the heat. I may even get to do Disneyworld. I really need a break and I am beyond blessed to have the opportunity to do this. It would not have been possible with out my other mother, Jean Turner. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING ALL WRAPPED UP IN ONE!

I pray all of you are doing well and look forward to telling you more soon.

OH BUDDY!

2011-10-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was extremely stressful and today was even worse. I know that things are going to be ten times better now but, WOW! I dont know that the craziness was work it but I think what i accomplished was worth it. I cant wait to hit the road and work through all the stress, the anxiety and unsuredness of the past week. It will be GREAT!

I think I may dress up for the Halloween Zumba class. Have to hit the dollar store tomorrow and get a few things. I am so glad to be back at the right time. I did so love my Zumba classes and Instructor. The DVD's just dont hold up to an in-person instructor.

My sister has decided to run the 5K. She is excited but nervous, just as I was the first go round. I will be running the 10K. I am just as nervous as I was for the 5K but more amped about finishing this one. It is half way to my half marathon. It has taken me a lot longer than it would most people but I am getting there. It will all work out eventually and I will be all kinds of rocking it.

Will let you know how it goes and get pics. See you then...

10K Here I come

2011-10-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

So this weekend is the first 10K! It is going to be awesome. I am having my doubt stage right now but I am totally going to work through it. Like my great friend D.D. says, it is how fast you run or walk it is that you finish the race. I am so there! Also looking forward to the Studio Arriba Halloween Party Zumba night :D

The food thing is going great, really working at watching what I eat, getting in 1750-1900 calories depending on the workout and tracking EVERYTHING! You dont realize how much you put in or dont put in your mouth until you keep track. A deficit of 400 calories a day is not good and if you are working out it is REALLY not good. But I am working with it.

Work is getting crazy, 16 days and counting. When this whole 50th Celebration thing is over we will all sing and dance in rejoice.

CAN NOT! wait for Thanksgiving and my south east trip. Jekyl Island, St. Simon, Plains Ga & Habitat, Monroes Hot Dogs, Marrice's fried chicken, Birthday celebrations, deep south church visit, Disneyland, pool side fun, and more! No kidding it is going to be a busy two weeks but OOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!! How awesome it will be :D

Well gonna go, thanks for reading and believing.
Kandi

Rocking the food and makin it real

2011-10-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

So this lady I know, Coach Samm (on Facecbook), keeps sayin that the key to loosing weight starts in the kitchen. I know it has a big impact but is it the key?

I started tracking what I was eating on myfitnesspal.com and WOW! First of all I have an average deficit of 400 calories, A DAY! I feel like I am shoving food in my mouth all the time. I have learned quite a few things from this little project. First is that while you might be shoving food in your mouth, if it isnt things your body needs to use for energy it isnt doing you any good. So although you can get 300 calories from a McDonald's Frappe and it fills you up and gives you energy, it is short lived and really spikes your blood sugar. Once your blood sugar is spiked it is hard for your body to balance but it is also hard for everything to settle down. Everything you eat after that point is used incorrectly by your body because it is trying to balance at the same time it is looking for what it needs.

Since I watched my food intake and tried balancing sugar, fat, and calories I have lost 6.6. pounds. NO KIDDING! While it doesnt seem like a lot it is RIDICULOUS for me. I have a hard time loosing weight period and to see any lose is great.

Add in the workouts that D.D. and Kaci and everyone who is a part of Team Quest and you get some pretty awesome moves, moods, and more :D

See ya again soon

ZUMBA!! Oh yeah, shake that butt!

2011-09-26T18:04:00.000-07:00

So Sunday was a down day but today we are BACK! Zumba tone and sculpt down and let me just say, BAITO, you got nothing on this!!!!!!!! Ha ha ha. Ate dinner and went for a bit of a walk around the block. My block is really my apartment complex which is a mile, and to think it was all to send a letter in the mail. Just kidding, it was just the excuse to get out.

I measured myself tonight and while I may have gained weight since the last time I weighed I have lost weight since March, and a couple of inches in several places. It isnt much but I guarantee you this is just the beginning. I am continuing to push myself and try to be positive about where I have come from and where I am going.

Thank you to everyone out there who is helping to support me and motivate me along the way.

Much love :D

Struggling but making a choice to push through

2011-09-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

So I dont know where I got it but I SUCK at trying to keep a journal or a blog. I know that in school now kids are required to keep a journal. Again, where was that when I was in school?

Well giving it another go so we will see what we get...

I went running today and was supposed to run 6.5 miles. I ran 5 and then my body seriously went on strike. No worries, wasnt anything major. I just went back to the car, stretched and headed home, determined to conquer the other 1.5 later in the day. I ended up taking a 2 hour nap and not accomplishing the other 1.5 so I will be doing it tomorrow with and extra 1.5 added in just for the sake of it.

I know it may sound a little crazy but when I was running I could feel my leg muscles bunch and release. My legs felt strong and I knew I was working it hard core! I saw deer playing in a field and felt like I had the strength to be in nature with them. That I was using the Earth in a way that was meant to be. That I belonged out there, I felt a part of something. The crisp, and I do mean CRISP, 49 degree weather was cold but it kept me cool as my body adjusted to pushing itself a little further and a little further.

I must say that even though I did 5 miles it didnt even seem remotely close to that. I put on my facebook that a year ago1 mile wasnt in my repotoire, six months ago 3 miles nearly killed me. And last week I found out that all my hard work has resulted in nothing other than a 3 lb weight gain. I was so frustrated that I wanted to quit. Go back to doing nothing and just complaining about the weight thing. Instead I said screw it! I feel better, I look better, and more importantly I am comfortable and really feel powerful when I run.

So here's to pushing through it, to running, to feeling a part of something and for making a choice to make a difference in me.

Hoping each of you has the courage to push yourself in whatever your struggle is.

Sometimes you just have to add shortening...

2011-08-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

Okay so I am making banana nut bread cupcakes. I found a Paula Deen recipe that is AMAZING! It has you add shortening and buttermilk. While I couldnt make myself use both, I chose the shortening over the buttermilk. While I am sitting here waiting for them to come out golden brown and delicious I am looking at photos of myself.

This is where the title of this blog has nothing to do with the rest.

I was looking in the rearview mirror today while sitting in the back seat of a vehicle. I noticed that I look fat. Now, you know me and the word FAT is not one I use. But today, I am really feeling it. Perhaps it is because of the wonderful friends I have found that are pushing me to better myselves. Perhaps it is because of a great friend who still looks amazing after two kids. In any case, I have decided it is time. I have always found that while I eat extremely healthily there is something holding me back. I will be honest and let you know the secret, it is will power.

Will power to not eat that second bowl of cereal, to not go for the ridiculously high sodium bowl of Ramen, the cream in the coffee, okay, sometimes even the McDonalds MOCHA FRAPPE, YUM!!!!!!!!!! I understand that all things considered you should treat yourself. But once a month, possibly once a week is probably enough. Starting tomorrow I am going to get back on track. I will be sticking to my running schedule of tuesday, thursday, and saturday. I will be doing Zumba on Monday and Wednesday and kayaking or hiking on Sunday. IT WILL BE AWESOME!

I will be adding tuna back in to my diet, YUCK! but it must be done. If anyone has a way to eat it that is low in carbs vs. bread or crackers, please share. I will cut out most of the sugar tea, perhaps allow myself one cup on fridays with dinner. All thoughts lead to getting healthy. Not loosing weight but being healthy.

I need to loose inches so if anyone has tricks that perhaps I dont know about, please forward them to me. Even if you think I have heard of them, send them my way. I am so interested.

Have a happy and healthy week people.

Writing a paper and thinking it through...

2011-07-29T19:44:00.000-07:00

I really need to be working on my paper, but I just can't seem to make it happen. So I am going to use this blog to talk my way through some thoughts, and see what I get. Far warning...

I decided to write this paper about self-talk. You would think I have plenty to say; in all actuality, I do. I would say that everyday, in every situation there is always something going through my head saying you are not good enough, why are you doing that, you should try harder, just give up already. I bet if I took a poll right now, I would not be alone. I would guess that at some point or another, more than 90% of you would have thought something about yourself today that needed more consideration.

I think it is safe to say that we all struggle with something. Some people struggle with weight (check), some struggle with money (check), some struggle with an addiction (check), some struggle with perfection or the lack thereof (check and check). When you struggle with something often times there is a conversation to resolve or move on from said struggle. Some of us have friends or family that we can talk to about the struggles in life. Some of us feel comfortable talking about some things but possibly not all things with friends or family. Some us don’t feel we have that outlet and while others may judge us for that, it simply is. This is where self-talk comes into play. When we don’t have an outlet, or won’t use one, we turn inward. We criticize or try to rationalize our behaviors. We work our way through what is right or wrong, why it is right or wrong, and where we go from there. While we work through those ideas we narrate the story as it was, as it is, and how it should be. In the end we come to an expression of that dialogue. It is an expression of who we are, where we have been and where we will go.

While I think the majority of things that go through our heads are struggles, complaints and the like, I don’t think they necessarily have to be negative. I think every once in a while a good thought slips through. Things like, way to go!, that looks awesome, keep it up, or you are doing great. I would argue that these are few and far between but what if they didn’t have to be, what if they weren’t?

In order to get to this point I think we need to look at what happens when we consider, what process occurs within ourselves that allows us to get to or through the situation. Self-narrative is exactly that, the consideration process. It begins with cognitive disonance, the uneasy feeling between what you think and what you do, which leads to internal dialogue (intrapersonal communication) in the form of a critic or rationalizer, ending with self-expression, the way you present what it is you haved discussed with yourself to the world.

So lets break each piece down and see what we come up with, a paper perhaps?

Anyway, off to finish the works. Thanks for letting me work this out and if you read this let me know your thoughts.

Quick catch up...

2011-07-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

So I dont have much, but here is a quick recap of the last couple of weeks.

2 weeks ago had surgery. Gall bladder out and some exploratory. Stayed with my parents because they knew if they left me alone I would miss behave. I was also on some pretty amazing drugs that would knock me out in about five minutes. Cant do any working out for 6 weeks, BOO! But I can eat EVERYTHING! Spicy, sweet, dairy, it is great!

Trying to keep myself busy with not eating or cooking. Been watchin a ton of movies and loving the great movies of years past. Some of them were a little twilight zonish, others were just flat out hysterical, there were some sad ones and some I just couldnt get into. Thank you Tina for letting me borrow some great flicks.

Elane got to go to the KC Zoo, dont tell anyone but we prefer the one in Saint Louis. We are thinking about tracking up north to hit the other big one, blame it on anesthesia brain that I cant remember the name. She loved the polar bear and the baboons and the giraffe's.

Took a treck up to Saint Louis for the celebrations of birthdays. Toni's July 1st, mine July 2nd and Grandpa's on July 3rd. It was great, like a mini family reunion. Aunt's and Uncle's we havent seen in years all got together.

Got to go back to work on Thursday, THANK GOD for being out of the apartment and mobile! I can only take so much of sitting around. Wishin I could have used the vacation for a real vacation but just means I will have to make next years far more exciting :D

Toni and Steve got another puppy last week. His name is Mac. He is a boxer puppy with white base and brown spots. He kind of looks like a paint puppy. The coolest part is his eyes. One is bright sky blue and the other is like a green color. His head is HUGE! He is definitely a cutie and will melt the hearts of all.

I am inheriting two cats for a while because Ms. Jean and Mr. Roy are moving to Florida. I will miss them immensely but I am glad they will get to relax and enjoy life, probably by the poolside, ARGH! Just kidding. It will be nice to have a few friends staying with me for a while and even better is that I can then take vacations to FLORIDA! Oh yeah :D

So anyway, I think I got you all caught up. Hope you are all well, please let me know.

Memorial Day Celebrtaion at the Station

2011-05-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

First and foremost I want to send a heart felt

THANK YOU

out to all those men and women across time, across nations, who have given the most important part of who they are to protect and provide safety and freedom for the trillions of people in the world.

I know to often you are asked to leave your family, friends, and loved ones behind to do unthinkable things in unimaginable conditions while people who are ignorant judge you.

I pray with all my heart that each and everyone of one you makes it home safe and are able to make a life, much the one you deserve for giving life and freedom to so many others.

In honor of those who have fought and are still fitting KC puts on a celebraation at Union Station. It was amazing and I highly recommend it. Here are the highlights...

Looking down the hill at Union Station

Looking up the hill towards the National WWI Museum

The Diana exhibit is in town until June 12, I would love to go but cant afford the thirty dollar tickets. But as the sun goes down, I forget all about Diana.

The orchestra began to play...

The wonder of lights, music, and the amazing memories of soldiers past and present bring me back to why we all were really there...remembering them.

All branches of the military were represented as the Kansas City Symphony played taps. Yes I BAWLED. They did a nine cannon salute instead of the usual 3 gun, it was beautiful and more heart wrenching then ever. They followed it up with Amazing Grace, adding more tears to the mix.

The lights on the building changed with the music until the end.

And then the fun of the night began...

We all turned around to see the memorial, like a bekon in the night

This is the eternal flame at the top of the memorial. You cant see it during the day but at night it flies high even in the insane wind.

And then the cannons rang out again followed by the most beautiful fireworks ever!

Hope you enjoyed them and take a minute to remember, say a silent prayer and ask for the safe return of all the men and women fighting for our freedom.

My thanks to Grandpa G, Great Grandpa Mathis, Grandpa O, Dad, Ruben, Jean, Roy, Lon, Bob, Jim, Monte, Bo, Duane, Duff, Jeff, Chris, Clint, Bo, Dale, Dan, Terry, Darrell, Phil, Brenda, Steven, Andrew, Drew, Jared, Timmy, Darius, John, Rod, Staley, Novotny, Tabitha, Gregory, Brian, Carl, Stephen, Daniel, Derek, Bobby, Keith, Kevin, Brad, Mike, Bill, Blake, Jay, Corey, Jason, David, Jack, and Cecil. And to all the other military brats, moms, dads, friends and other family members that I have had the privlege of knowing.

Love you guys-
Kandi

First Fishing Fun!

2011-05-22T18:19:00.000-07:00

Elane, Toni, Steve, Mom and Dad all came up to try their hands at the lakes by my house. We only went to one but it was and awesome day. We had some storms right when they were driving into my complex but the sun came out quickly.

Here is a little of the days happenings...

She caught the first fish, we were all jealous but she was so excited we couldnt be too mad.

And the third...

Then mommy caught one and we started having hope that we might catch up...

Then mommy caught a different kind of treat...

She even heald it! And I so got the proof. :D

Then we got more threatening signs like the back side of a wall cloud but then it moved on and things stayed beautifully sunny all day!! Thank you God for the sun and good times with great people.

Her fourth fish, daddy let her touch it and papa was trying to get her to kiss it! UGH!

And the final fish of the day just to show off...

All in all it was a great day. Toni just sent me a pic of her passed out in the back of the truck on the way home. Guess not getting a nap caught up with her eventually.

Hope you enjoyed today and got some of the sun we did

Claude Monet Triptec...a dream come true

2011-04-24T19:30:00.000-07:00

So I went with some amazing friends today, Matt and Shannon to see the Claude Monet Triptec Agapanthus or Water Lillies to most.

The triptec was so named because of a plant that in the finished product no longer exists.

The museum did studies of the paintings and cross sectioned the layers so that those who were looking at it with a naked eye could see the wonders that unfolded beneath each layer. Along with the plant missing in the far left bottom corner there were many other things that changed along the way. It was like he painted what he saw as he went along and as time progressed so did the painting.

I wanted to feel it. To feel the texture to feel the paint. His brush strokes were so controled for such an uncontrolled end. They asked me to step away, unwillingly I stepped back and admired from a distance.

I have seen his paintings numerous times. I have studied his brush strokes, the way he used color to decipher depth, but it never seemed as real as it did today. I sat for hours looking at these paintings. Contemplating the time of day, where in the garden he was standing and coming up with a ridiculous amount of questions I wanted to ask.

It seems that Monet also did not sign things until he completed them to his liking, which was not often. He was afraid he had ruined this one. He started painting before he had cataract surgery to fix his vision. He then left the paintings to sit for a year while he healed. He then went to work at completing the set. The color scheme changed dramatically from wild vibrant true tones to a new muted landscape. I know this is an artist thing but I wonder if where he was in life changed the way he painted. Did the surgery make such an impact that the light in his life was more muted? So anyway, back to the not signing, it seems after he died his son found the rubber stamp he used to put his signature on his works and added it. I find that hysterically funny because as most of you know I quite frequently forget to sign mine. Maybe I should have a stamp made as well.

Anyway, it was an amazing day. I got to be a part of history, a part of something that has touched the lives of many and will continue on through wonderful museum that do this amazing work.

So thank you to the Nelson Atkins Museum and to Claude Monet for stepping outside of the box, no giving us a horizon line, and making just appreciate the art for what it is. I would love to hear your thoughts if you too have been lucky enough to see these works in person.

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield...

2011-04-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

So I am thoroughly convinced that no one reads this. I used to be bothered by that. Now, I just say so be it.

I will continue to share the stories of this worl with those who will listen and if they listen I only hope that they too will share their stories with me.

I watched the movie One Week today. It is probably one of the best movies that I have ever seen. It was beautiful. For the landscape, the honesty, the richness and the truth. Some might say it was depressing but let me just say to those people, live life like you only have one week to live and see how much that changes everything.

So if I only had one week to live, what would I do... I know the first thing I would do is get to an ocean. From there I would just take it one day at a time and see what happened.

What would you do if you only had one week to live?

Rockin the Parway 2011

2011-04-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

So today was the 5K. It was just over 3 miles and it was my first.

It was awesome to see everyone working towards a goal and everyone finishing. The start line was seriously packed and it was so invigorating.

Started out strong but about mile 1.5 started TOTALLY slacking. D.D. stayed behind with me and she was an amazing motivator. We walked a bit at that point, it was on a hill so I cant say I minded. Then we rocked it. We hit the turn around and started feeling better. We talked, we ran, we walked its what we do. The coolest thing is that at the 2 mile marker it was also the 12 mile marker, so I totally got my pic at the 12 mile sign! AH HA! It was awesome. D.D. got took all the pics so I will share them when she loads them.

So at that point I started to get really really emotional. I CRIED! If you know me at all you know this doesnt happen. It felt so great to be there, to be a part of it, and to know that I could do it. We finished strong and my family was there to supprt me at the finish line. Elane came running up to me and hugged me and then I started balling! It meant so much to me for them to be there but I want more than anything to be a good role model for her and I want her to grow up strong and confident. Hopefully these steps are making a difference and showing her how it is done.

Now I am totally waiting for the stats. IT IS KILLING ME! that they are not up yet. I know patience is a virtue, believe me, but I just want to know how I did. I finished, and that is all I was going for on this one so I am happy no matter how I did. I just want to know how I did so that I can push myself to do better.

At the end I was awarded with the most wicked cool 5K bling, check it!

Anyway, looking for the next one. Thinkin 10K? Anyone intersted?

Feeling drained and like I need to carry two pairs of shoes

2011-03-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

Well tonight after the run I do not feel the normal high I get from the run. I think it might be because before I even got to the .5 mile marker my left leg was completely numb. UGH!

I know a lot of that has to do with my weight but I also noticed that depending on which pair of shoes I wear the opposite leg goes numb and the time before it hapens differs to. If I wear my green asics my left leg goes numb fast. If I wear my pink asics the arch of my foot gets blisters and eventually my leg goes numb. If I wear the sauconys my right leg goes numb. I want desperately to get to the point where I can just run. Smile on my face, breathing, feeling, living and all is well.

Another 2 miles today although most of it was walking. I just pray to God that I am ready for the 3 miles in 2 weeks.

Blisters A HOY!

2011-03-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

Yep. Note to self, check mileage on new website http://www.mapmyrun.com/, and know where it is you are going. Thank you Michelle Moll Schubert for the info.

Second note to self, WEAR SOCKS!

So that said, LOVED the new trail I found today. leawood park in KS (right down the road) has a huge trail set. They do not have mileage marked on a map so I just started walking, figured I would do my hour worth of music and the world would be all right. HA! I finally stops some girls who were running and they told me I should turn back now because I was already pretty far away from where I started and the trail I was on didnt go around. So I turned around and found out that I went a little over 2.5 miles.
Feeling pretty good but definitely got some serious blisters. OUCH! On the inside of foot at the highest part of the arch. D.D. says I need to where socks, it is definitely going to be takin into consideration.

Loving the nike DRI-FIT long sleeve shirt my parents got me. It is nice out but not nice enough for short sleeve shirts.

Really loving the running just wish I had someone to do it with on e a more regular basis. The lady at the main office of my apartment complex told me she would walk with me when I stopped by to find out about the gardens. I took her up on the offer and so once the weather gets nicer she will start walking with me. No worries, only every other day so that I am running on the other days.

Good news about the garden, it is FREE!!!!!! Hey hey! So going to get plants on the way home tomorrow and get some starters going :D

Next run on Thursday night, Sunday practice run for 5K and then 2.5 weeks to Rock the Parkway 5K!

2 miles?? Oh yeah I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-03-06T19:00:00.000-08:00

Okay so when I first started this journey I will be honest and say I doubted that I would do it. I doubted that I would be able to run one mile and that I would continue.

I am on my second mile, freezing, but oblivious because I am so happy! I cant believe I can do it.

One of the most important things that have made a huge difference is the positive support team I have. My friends DD and Kaci who are half crazy ;0) and just ran a half marathon at Disneyworld. THEY ARE AMAZING, and were not runners at all when they started in the fall. Can you believe it? My friends on Facebook from all over the world, my parents, my family and my extended family in CO and Saint Louis. It means a lot to me to be supoprted and have positive feedback as well as honest critique.

So my friends DD and Kaci got me a couple of things that I totally have to share with you, check it out...

I went to this store in Saint Louis called Sports Authority and this really great guy helped me out. He not only found a perfect pair but he didnt hand me the most expensive shoe on the rack. THANK YOU! and betteer yet he was telling me how great it was that I was running and not to dismiss running the half marathon, to just keep pushing myself. I would have kissed him had it not freaked him out. I told him about the heel and calf pain/numbness. He said that the shoes I had were stability shoes that were correcting my foot from rotating in, a.k.a. pushing them out. Ha guess what, my feet do that NATURALLY! so basically I was over correcting something that was not wrong. I now have a pair of very nice cushy shoes :D I will be wearing them starting next week;gotta break them in, and hope that it lets me get a little bit further. My parents, being insane! Bought me the pair I was going to buy and then they threw Dri-Fit shirt for good measure. :D I am set to hit the road, here are the shoes,

I will definitely miss the flat ground in the burg and in Saint Louis but I assure you it wont stop me. Twenty six days and 9 hours to go. Bring on the 5K.

Signed up for a 5K

2011-03-02T18:09:00.000-08:00

Well tonight I signed up for my first 5K. It is called Rock the Parkway 2011. They do it every year and I am excited but I am really terrified and nervous that I will fail. Thankfully, I am blessed to have a GREAT suppost system, all of whom remind me it is not about time, it is about doing and completing. I will definitely be finishing and am so psyched to find out it is not timed!

I ran tonight and made it almost all the way through the 30 minute run. I think the last five 30 sec on 30 sec off was really all off but I pushed myself and ran when I could. My foot fell asleep again then went to my calf. I paid closer attention tonight and it is the outside of my calf that is the worse. I wonder if I am pushing my foot in one direction or another making that happen? Any ideas welcome.

I am not hurting as much as I have been after running which is great! The first couple of minutes when I get done are pretty brutal but it passes quickly. I am looking forward to going to St. Louis this weekend for a different place to run and see how I do.

Have a great night and you probably wont hear from me till monday night. Peace :D

62, sunny and out!

2011-03-01T18:06:00.000-08:00

Got the Jeff Galloway book, Running: Getting Started, and have really learned a lot.
Posture very important, cadence, breathing, mental and physical, so much information but really making a difference.

One of the things he says is a good idea is a journal. I am keeping one but wanted to put the number one issue I am having right now out there to see if anyone has any hints or ideas on how to fix it.

When I run my right foot heel starts going numb then it moves up into my chin/calf area. My left foot doesnt have the problem. I have also noticed that I tend to push harder on my left foot, I dont understand this because I am right handed and my left leg is the leg that I had the bone fracture in. Any ideas??

Next bit of new is that I think I have chosen my run, it is either the Sept 4th run in Disneyland CA or the Wine and Dine Oct 1st run in Disneyworld FL (http://espnwwos.disney.go.com/events/rundisney/wine-and-dine-half-marathon/?page=disney-wine-and-dine-half-marathon). Not sure which one I am going to do yet but one of them will happen.

Keep ya posted...

Out and back again

2011-02-20T19:32:00.000-08:00

Went home this weekend and really tried to stay with the routine. Went running before I left here on friday. Felt pretty good about how far I had gone and how well my body is reacting to the change from treadmill to road. I made it a little over half way around my apartment complex, including hills (both up and down) without having to walk and extra set. The hills definitely added some added challenge but I found they helped stretch some of the tighter muscle so it all worked out.

Saturday morning I got up first thing and went out for a "walk". Ha ha. First time out I took my dads new puppy, Cody, for his first walk on a leash. It was quite comical and needless to say, short lived. We did make it around valley view once but I am sure the sherriff/deputy was trying to figure out why I was dragging this dog. He did keep up when I ran a few times but when I stopped running and went back to walking he would just sit his butt on the ground and stare at me like I had lost my mind. He was terrified to be out of his safe environment and when other dogs in fenced in yards came up he bolted around my legs, literally. By the end of the walk however, he was getting a little more comfortable and really starting to smell around and enjoy the excursion. Here's hoping that next time I go he will be more up to the challenge.

I loved walking as the sun was coming up, down an old country road by myself. It was so peaceful and relaxing I didnt even turn on my ipod. When I get to the point of running the 10 miles and such I do believe I would like to run the back roads and take the time to see all the things we zoom by in the car. I have to say I could have done without the cow patties but you take it as it comes and enjoy all parts of it.

Today was a day off although I am thinking I should have at least done a little walk. But when I got home and checked the mail my Jeff Galloway book came and I am so excited to see what "Running, getting started" has to offer.

I would like to send a silent prayer up for Dee Dee, Kaci and all the other ladies hitting the princess run here in 7 or so days. I know everyone will be amazing and have learned to listen to their bodies, I wish you all wellness and smiles along the way.

I will hit the road running tomorrow and check back in some time this week. Peace.

Wow the road is brutal!

2011-02-15T15:34:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, been running outside and I just have to say UGH!

Okay that is all I am going to complain the rest is good. The road is a completely diffferent feeling than a treadmill. You really have to push yourself through and pay attention to your body.

I love the Jeff Galloway RunWalkRun timer. It is such an easy way to keep myself on track and focused. I love that you can set it to 30 sec, 1 minute, whatever your intervals are and that it not only has a beeping timer it also has a vibrating timer. Cant hear the beeping through the music.

Woke up at 6 am, dressed and out the door. Walked for 15 minutes (once around the inner circle drive) and then jogged. It was pitch black out so I didnt see the ice, kept it interesting. I jogged for 30 miutes with intervals of 30 run/30 walk. I dont know how far I went, next toy will be a watch like Kacey and Dee Dee have that tells you heart rate, distance, etc. Again, when I win the lottery ;0)

Looking forward to the walk tomorrow morning. It really makes a huge difference in the day and my mood when I work out early.

I'm lovin' it.

Back at it...

2011-02-12T07:25:00.000-08:00

So I am not going to lie. With all the snow over the last three weeks I have not gone to the gym once. I have done a couple of my work of videos but it just isnt the same.

Today, beings that it is 40+ degrees out, WAHOO!!!!!!! I am going to start outside and see how that feels. I have heard that the treadmill is totally different than the road so I think it best to do as much on the road and really let my body feel the muscles that it will be really using.

I will like to make a shout out to Dee Dee and Kacey though. They are insane and started training for the Disney Princess run and now they are running 12 miles! I can not even believe how much progress they have made. And cant say thank you enough for the confidence they have that I can do it.

So yet again, BRING IT ON!

More running...

2011-01-11T16:58:00.000-08:00

Okay so for some reason it didnt save or post my last blog. I dont remember what it said because it was the day before yesterday. I know I talked about the guy at the gym that was huffing and puffing as he lifted weights. I just wanted to tell him that if he had to puff then he wasnt lifting the right way. Then there was the skinny girl who once again was on the treadmill next to me so I had a great pace companion. Then there was that I have been doing this wrong. Go figure.

I have gone to the way I was supposed to be running 1 minute on 1 minute off for 30 minutes. It is a LOT easier and I dont feel as much pain in my shins after the run. The breathing thing is still difficult but I am reading up on it and it seems we are supposed to breath with our stomachs and most people dont. It is a lot easier said than done when everything else is jiggly and bouncing around.

I totally coped out last night and didnt go to the gym however. I know I am a slacker but I didnt want to have to treck down the really icy really snowy hill to get to the gym.

I didnt go tonight either but did Zumba instead. It was much needed after my dinner with Elane and Toni and Steve. It was nice to see my little person. :D

Tomorrow night I will be back in action at the gym.

Not all horses are born to run . . .

2011-01-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

January 6th-

Today was the two mile run.

I want to start out with a positive and end with a positive. So you will at least have to read to the middle to get the juicy stuff.

I finally figured the interval timer that my sister got me out. Note to self, it helps if you read the instructions and really pay attention to what you are reading. This brings me to the thought that I as an American am very lazy and completely contradictual. I get mad when I cant figure something out but am thus because, HELLO!, I didnt read the instructions first. I am so my fathers daughter.

So I started out running with the two minute interval that I had set. I was ECSTATIC when I surpassed the two minute vibration alarm. I got so happy I lost track of my breathing and had to slow a bit but kept on going! I ran for 4 minutes straight with no problem. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! I never would have thought it possible.

I walked two minutes and started again. I made it all the way to 10:53!!!!!!! YEAH BUDDY!

So at this point you are asking yourself why did she name this blog "Not all horses are born to run".

Although I am working up to it, I am thinking that I was not born to run. You may not know this but some horses are great at haulin' ass, some are great at a run, some are great at a trot and others can barely walk without tripping on their own two feet. I am not as bad as tripping over my own two feet most of the time however, I am better of at a slow trot. My short stubby legs are definitely not loving the jarring of the harder faster run but are definitely loving a 4.5 jog more. Now most people with longer legs are saying I totally start my walking warm up there. Let me just say my legs are probably anywhere from 2 inches to a foot shorter than yours, it is just a thought and I am only 5 days in, give me a break.

So anyway, now that I climbed down off of the soap box, I will end on a positive note. I ended my 2 miles at 34 min. Which puts me at a 17 min/mile. For just starting I dont think that is that bad. I know it is not great but I am positive it is a beautiful start. Watch me become more beautiful!

Jan 3 - Doubt sets in

2011-01-03T19:44:00.000-08:00

So sadly it is only three days in and I am already doubting that this is possible. My chins are KILLING me, I had to stop and stretch three times because my chins were burning and my legs were numb. But I pushed a lot through those times and finished the thirty minutes.

My friend and I talked last night about how much harder it is to run on the concrete rather than on the treadmill and that is what kept nagging at my mind. I kept hearing myself say "you think this is hard, ha! wait till you get out there on the concrete". I just kept pushing put it definitely wasnt helping.

There was this 100 lb lady next to me who was running like it was nothing. So when it was my running interval I paced myself with her strides. I think I was a little taller than her but I had shorter legs than she does. It actually helped a lot! When I was pacing myself with someone I didnt think about the pain or about the breathing I thought step one step two step three, and it totally worked. SO thank you random lady at the gym who was my inspiration during the ahrd times.

So long story short, I did 30 minutes walk/run plus the 5 minute warm-up and 5 minute cool down. It was yet again not completely a 2 min walk/2 min run session but it is a lot of getting it started. Just keep pushin it and remember, "It isnt how fast you run, just run!"

Jan. 2 - 2 days down :D

2011-01-02T18:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, the second day has come to an end. All of my muscles are KILLING me. I mean like serious ache saying "Hello, remember us, yeah that is what you get for not keeping us up to date with the exercise." Let me just tell you, I GET IT!

Today was a walk day. So I walked two miles at a 3.0-3.5 pace. I thought I would throw in a little runnage and quickly changed my mind once I started running. I am wondering what tomorrow will bring and am hoping that the walk and stretching tonight helped a bit.

I slept great last night and felt great today. I cant wait to see what tomorrows run/walk day will bring. Hoping for being able to do all 30 minutes of 2 on 2 off. Here's hopin. . .

Jan. 1 - First night on half marathon training

2011-01-01T18:54:00.000-08:00

FIrst I want to say thank you to everyone who is backing me on this. It means a lot to me to know that you guys are cheering me on.

So, I have definitely been slacking on the workout regimen and OMG the body is seriously telling me about it. I got on the treadmill and used the mantra that Dee Dee says is a must, "you dont have to run fast you just have to run."

I started with a 5 min warmup and moved on, run two minutes and walking two minutes. My honesty moment is that at the 20 minute marker I couldnt run two minutes anymore, but instead of stopping I moved down a little to the one minute 30 sec run and two minute walk.

The first thing I have to figure out is this breathing thing. I am pretty sure I was going to pass out.

But all in all it was a gerat come back experience. Every muscle in my body is telling me "I AM ALIVE" and it feels good. Cant wait for what tomorrow has to offer.

Again, BRING IT ON! See ya tomorrow.

Yep, it is happening...

2010-12-31T08:24:00.000-08:00

So I have sworn off for to many years the making of a New Year's Resolution.

The simple fact is that I was always the one that was afraid to fail. So here goes. Whether I fail or not my New Years Resolution is to be in a half marathon this year. I am shooting for April but I have decided to not put such restrictions on myself. I will give it a year, and at that time I will have completed one.

The first step...

My sister bought me this amazing interval timer for Christmas, the first step is to learn how to use it and get my ass to the gym. I have no excuse as there is one less than a block from my house and it is free.

I will be honest and tell you that I need some encouragement and some accountability. Therefore, I will be getting one here every night to put up my totals for the day. I will tell you how far I ran, my time, my speed, all that jazz.

Now, it may be boring for you so you are not required to keep track. I am doing it as an accountability thing. I vow to be honest on the days that I will skip, I vow to be honest when I have puked my guts out (which I have been assured will probably happen), and I vow most of all to do this for me and no one else.

So here goes... day 1 is tomorrow, Saturday January 1st. See you back here. . .

Planet Sub Cashier Godsmacked me

2010-11-18T16:43:00.000-08:00

So, on Tuesday I went home to tag, title and license the truck. Dad and I decided to grab lunch right quick before he had to go to work and that is when it happened. UGH! Yep another Godsmack.

I am standing in line at Planet Sub and I have already ordered and I say "and whatever he wants..." and dad orders. I go to hand the guy my card as my dad is throwing twenty at him. The guy looks at me and flat out takes my dad's twenty. I am pissed because I was paying for lunch to say thanks for dad taking me around to help with my truck.

When I ask the guy why he took dads money he said "Because he is a gentlemen".

WHAT! REALLY?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

Yes, that was my first reaction. Then as I sat there waiting for them to bring out the subs I began to think. Which, as we know, is never good. But it occured to me that I was fighting with my dad over a sub sandwich. Not because it was devastational to me that he paid, not because I didnt appreciate him paying, but just because, because, yep, that was it, SMACK!

Why did I need to fight with him over a sub sandwich. He was showing me he loved me one of the ways he always has. But I always seem to fight with him about it because I feel I have to.

I feel I have to because he has spent 30 years taking care of me and I was always pissed about something. I was mad about his job, I was mad about a lot of things and I never just said thank you. I never once just let him do something without making a big deal of things.

I do this with all guys because I dont want them to take care of me, because, as my 4 year old niece says, "I can do it myself". I should just back off and let them pay for the sub and see what happens.

I chose to make an intentional decision about letting guys help, letting them pay and not feeling bad about it.

Thank you Planet Sub cashier guy for the Godsmack.

The innocence of little people

2010-11-14T08:28:00.000-08:00

I went to a couple of the KCYA ballet and theatre classes this weekend to take pics for a few marketing things I am working on. It amazed me and intrigued me as I sat there taking pictures of how amazing, care free and real kids are. They all were having a blast and just being thmeselves. Even when a person with a camera was watching and snapping immense amounts of pictures of them they were real. They tried hard to keep their toes pointed, their backs straight and arms extended.

They were beautiful with their hearts opened wide at the possibility of what the world has to hold. I miss that feeling and dont know when it happened. I dont remember a specific date or a specific event that made the future seem impossible.

I think this retrospect comes at a great time with the holiday season coming up. The world, the children of the wolrd still have the greatest gift of all time. They can believe, they can trust, and they can be innocent with honestness of who they are. I vow to be a little more open this season. To be thankful for all things and willing to try new things. To be amazed by the little things that kids marvel at. I vow to learn from them and remember what it was like to just be.

Thank you to all the kids I saw this weekend and for God opening my eyes to one of the things I miss the most.

Thought

2010-11-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I was having a random thought today and I would like your input. Be honest, boy or girl, and tell me your thoughts.

So this really hot guy came and connected my internet for me on Saturday. I talked, I flirted, and sadly I realized that he was at work and that he couldnt ask me for my number.

So, here is the question I pose, would it have been appropriate for him to ask? Should he have said screw it?

Would it have been appropriate for me to ask him fo his? Should I have said screw it?

Other thoughts?

Realness part 2

2010-11-06T20:02:00.000-07:00

So I had planned to do this more often but didnt have a way to get to the internet. Now, I do. So here is the second part of my realness segment and the beginning of the truth.

I went to a Cassarole party today. It was my first and I met some really great people there. I stepped outside my box and actually introduced myself to some people there. I noticed two things, I couldnt talk to the pretty girls and I couldnt talk to the guys. I know that I can, there was just this barrier that stopped me. So, I vow to work on this.

Last week I started running again. Well run/walking at Loose Park. First I would like to say this is a beautiful park. There is a lot of history there as well. I was running and had just started getting to the point were I am sucking air because I dont breath right when an older gentleman walked by and clapped at me. I almost decked him. My gut reaction is to be like, "What the hell is your problem asshole, just because I am fat doesnt mean I am out of shape or dont like to work out." I didnt I kept running and kept it in. I rounded the next corner and there was another guy walking and he clapped at me as I walked by. This through me over the edge, I lost all track of my breathing and running and couldnt keep going so I just started walking and gave up. I dont understand why I let those people have such a huge impact on my life but more importantly I dont know why I always think the most negative possibility. I automatically went to the idea that they were making fun of me instead of thinking that possibily they were rooting me on. Saying "Good job, keep it up".

This made me do a bit of self reflection about the negativity that I let myself fall into. So I have decided to try to be more positive and optimistic. I have made the decision to be intentional in my being positive instead of negative. I challenge you to do the same. When someone gives you that look that drives you crazy, go up to them, say hi and turn the negative reaction into something positive. When it is raining outside, or snowing :0(, I plan on being thankful because that means the Earth is healing itself and we still have a great piece of nature.

I have been doing more and more outside of my bubble and learning how much I missed by staying in all
the time. Kansas City is a huge town. I say this because it is a city but really has a small town feel. There is a ton of things to do here. There are a lot of great things that you can do for free, or really really cheap. I hope you guys can come and see some of the amazingness of Kansas City and I hope I get to see you here.

Try to be positive and be intentional, if you fail, try a little harder the next day.

"Realness"

2010-09-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

I went to this woman's retreat this weekend and really came face to face with a lot of my fears and a lot of what I cant see in myself. Although it is only September I would like to start a new resolution, I Kandice Gerdes, choose from here on out to be honest, real, and authentic. Yes they all mean the same thing in general but when you get down to it, they are all very different and those differences allow for a lot of loop holes. I dont want to use the loop holes anymore. I want to intentionally cultivate my life, plant a healthy seed, and watch it grow. We are all original and have our own realities and I want you to be a part of mine.

I CHALLENGE each and every one of you to look inside, whether male or female and be real about one thing here. You can keep it anonymous if you so choose. And, do not try to sugar coat someone else's realness by telling them they are beautiful, or arent fat, we have this conversation with ourselves all of the time. While I am thankful for your support I want you to be real and just understand my fears and realities. Thank you for understanding.

My realness, I am terrified of the dark, thank you apartment on Culton St. I am terrified that no one will ever love me to the depths of their being and that I will never learn to be able to in turn love that someone to the depths of my being. I am terrified of what is yet to come as much as I am excited and say "BRING IT ON!". I am terrified that I am so fat my body will just give out and die. I am terrified that the woman in my life, myself included, do not realize how special they are and how blessed they are. I am terrified that I will fall flat on my face with the new job and the new apartment and my new life and the most sobering of all is that I am scared of being stuck, stuck in this place where I am afraid to meet new people, I am afraid to step outside my comfort zone and where most of all I am afraid to be real.

I love the ocean, the smell of rain coming, the wind on my face, sitting in a boat on the lake just feeling the rhythm that God is playing out in nature. I hate wearing shoes, no big surprise there. I love to watch plants take on life. I love to paint and see what comes from the vastness of my heart and mind mixed together. I love to drive off in one direction with no real place to go, just to see what is waiting out there. I love my niece more than anything else in the world right now. I love the way babies sound when they are to young to talk but have so much to say. I love to dance, to shake it all out and not care who is watching. I love fried green tomatoes, pears and cheese, sweet tea and ICE CREAM! And I love that I have been blessed with friends like you that come to read a blog that is rarely updated and rarely as exciting as I would imagine it could be.

This is by no means the depths of my reality, it is only the surface, but it is a beginning, a planting of the seed of life if you will. The old seed must die before new life can begin. Again I say, BRING IT ON! and I encourage you to take a minute and be real with yourselves and more authentic with others. It is okay to cry, to laugh, to scream out in anger, or to crumple on the floor because you have no more to give. Know that I will be there to cry with you, to laugh with you and I pray with all my heart that when I am on the floor crumpled, forsaken and bruised that you too will be on the floor for me.

I love you and am so blessed to have been part of a marvelous weekend full of amazing women.

Also check out this page, operationbeautiful.com. It is amazing.

What more. . .

2010-05-19T05:37:00.000-07:00

In the last semester I have lost two uncle's, one friend, Dex (the jr. coolest dog ever) and in the past two weeks I had to put my best friend of 22 years, Ashes to sleep. She was my heart and was the one person in the world I would trust with all my secrets. Then on friday I had to put her co-hort in crime, Abby to sleep.

You never realize how much they mean to you and how much they are a part of your life until they are gone. The loneliness has kicked in when you realize there is no one there when you come home at the end of the day.

For all those people out there that complain because their husbands or children are a pain in the butt, think about it, you have someone that with even just a look can tell you that you are loved. Whether you realize it or not, on some level they love you more than you know and more than you give them credit for. For those of you out there that dont have that husband or boyfriend, child or animal to welcome you home, know that I am thinking about you and sending good energy of love and hope your way. You are not alone, you never will be.

Well overdue UPDATES

2010-04-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

So, where to start, okay well first of all HI! Sorry it has been such a long while. In all my genius I took three grad classes this semester, while doing Habitat, playing softball, ZUMBA! and the many other extracurricular fun things I decided to partake in this year, oh yeah and working fulltime. Not a good idea, just FYI.

Well in August we started building a Habitat for Humanity House here in Warrensburg. I was lucky enough to be awarded the Volunteer Coordinator position which as most of you know is what I want to do when I get out of school. So to have this real life hands on experience was just an amzing opporunity.

Here is the house in its beginnings and the final project, it is beautiful :D and the support the community gave to this project was just astounding. I cant even begin to thank everyone that came and gave labor hours, helped with thank you cards, making and serving food, plates, forks, etc. I had no idea how much goes into the complete picture of Habitat. I am forever thankful and in awe of the people that do this on a daily basis. I hope to join the ranks shortly.

For Spring Break this year I was lucky enough to get to be a part of UCM's Breakers program again. It is a program that is made up of students, both undergrad and grad students that fundraise throughout the year to be able to go to destinations throughout the United States to build houses for Habitat's Collegiate Challenge. This year we went to Laredo TX which is right on the border of Mexico.

I would like to think that I am not completely oblivious to the ways of the world but was completely shocked that individuals living on the outskirts of Laredo often times to not have clean water. This is not to say they could get water and boil it to be acceptable. The water that they do have access to is so bad that it is unsafe for them to drink it or use it for anything other than dishes and laundry. This is a water house. People from miles come here to fill up what we in Missouri call sistren tanks. They will have to do this a couple times a week as many of them have generations living in their houses.

We were lucky enough to be a part of a project that Habitat started called Tierra Prometida. This program has brought running, clean water and housing to communities in Laredo that would otherwise not have acceptable housing or water conditions. Here is our group, 28 in all.

Our trip started with a very looooooooooooooooong road trip. Our first stop was, hmm, for a lack of better words that would be appropriate, interesting. Lets just say, falling tiles from roof, curled up tiles on floor, old carousel horses in empty pool, and an open mic night. OH YEAH! So, we ended up leaving our first scheduled overnight stop for a hotel a couple of hours further down the road. FUN TIMES! But, I did meet this amazing guy from Australia. He decided to just come to America and travel. The day before he bought a RV and that morning he was going to buy a car. They were going to tour the US and wanted to start in Texas because of all the old Bonanza movies. He tried to explain them to me and I felt like one of those stupid Americans because I dont remember Bonanza. Well, I remember the restaraunt in Saint Louis called that but otherwise, nope. Anyway, back to Laredo.

We stopped at the Laredo visitors center. It was under construction but is still an amazing account of the culture that is so richely based in Laredo.

We then got showed to our rooms and were just so excited and wanted to crash. We stayed at a Baptist church which was newly remodeled and beautiful. We slept on cots which were really comfortable but there was another school with us and we ended up sleeping 40 in the room below. Needless to say if you rolled over you hit someone. So we got to know eachother way more than we had expected. It was great!

This is the house. When we got to the site the outer walls were all that was up. I think this was the most awesome build because we got to meet and work with the family that is going to get the house. This year is the first time I have meet any of the families, I was definitely blessed. I dont have many pictures because I actually got to do a lot of the actual building. This site was very active with Women and so they empowered us to use powertools (my favorite) and get up on the roof. This is what working as a team looks like . . .

This is Zeke up on the roof. He is the build leaderand as I said above was all about letting the girls get in there and get to work.

This is our house on the last day, we started with nothing more than the basic walls up. We hard a rough start and a rainy day but it came together nicely. We were also lucky enough to be able to teach them how to recylce the wood they cut instead of throwing resusable pieces out and how to recylce and make money on the ridiculous amount of water bottles they use on site.

This is one of our fearless leaders and my pilot/co-pilot. We had fun times rockin it out to Manny's pod all the way to Laredo and back. We work together at the college and it was great to get to know each other on a personal level. She and Manny are both very politically sound people that are also extremely deep in the environmentalist acts in our town and state so it was great to pick their brains.

This is our other fearless leader. Her name is Kristi. I couldnt pass up this pic because of her shirt. It says "Where in the heck is Warrensburg MO?" Ha ha ha. And it totally has this dueling banjos looking redneck on it. IT IS AWESOME.

This is the valley that is right next to the build site. There is an old Mexican temple far into the depths and our favorite animal, COWS! It is a beautiful place and I hope it has a beautiful future.

On our rainy day we had to work in the Laredo Habitat's warehouse. The things you find.

Of course we had evenings free so we toured Laredo. The first order of business, save Manny from Border Patrol. Just kidding. Manny and Jeff, our two resident Hispanic Breakers found the Border Patrol very appealing. When we went to the Rio Grande they were everywhere. So Manny and Jeff decided to go talk to them and ended up taking some very interesting pictures. No they did not actually get hauled away.

There was a checkpoint on the railway system that crossed the Rio which slowed all the massively long trains to a halt for at least 30 or 40 minutes while they checked for extra passengers. And this is where the land border patrol check point was. All cars coming in and going out came through this check point bringing a whole new meaning to rush hour traffic.

This is the Rio Grande which borders Laredo. Straight across you can see people enjoying the river on both sides.

Our next adventure while in Laredo was a hockey game. Yes, it was my first hockey game and I saw it in TX. Strange? So I must say that it is not as intense as football however, they basically got out on the ice and beat eachother against the glass, PAINFUL! even to watch.

The last night we were in Laredo the Habitat affiliate through us a Tex-Mex fiesta. It was AMAZING! This is what they fed us. Tamales, beans, nachos, rice, and fruit and celery to cool the heat. I could have eaten this all day long. They had a DJ, they had a park for us to run and play in, and they got us a PINATA! Then they gave us a stick to eat the pinata, NOT SMART! Thank GOD! no one got hurt but we did have to take one person down tackle style because they didnt hear us yell STOP!

Our next stop was the Alamo and the Riverwalk. The first thing our friend Manny did was get into the spirit. He so pulls this off it is scary.

This is the cacti that greeted us as we walked into the Alamo. It was HUGE! and gorgeous.

This is the Alamo. I was so excited to see it but so disappointed by the towering skyscrapers that surrounded it on all sides. Why cant we just leave little pieces of history as just that.

So now we are at the riverwalk. This is one of the many beautiful fountains that line the streets.

This is standing on a bridge looking down on the riverwalk. While this is not the restaraunt we ate at it is one of the many that also lines the streets. Where we were there was no rail and if I had scooted my chair back anymore I would have ended up in the river. IT WAS AWESOME!

Manny who wanted us all to feel his spirit payed for a Mariachi band to come serenade us. They were really good and totally let me get a picture with them. I dont have it on this computer to share but I so will later.

NEXT STOP, Saint Louis hairshow. Every year when Toni and her boss head to Saint Louis to catch up on the newest techniques, color, etc. they let me tag along. I honestly go to be a pack mule but also to hang out by the arch and enjoy the Landing. This is our room, long story short we were supposed to have a pool, no pool. Then the morning we left we woke up to no water. One of the pipes on the third floor burst so the elevators werent working, the water was off for a couple of hours and some of the electricity couldnt be turned on either. BUT, I did get free starbucks for it YES!

This is the view from our window. We got to watch a couple of weddings and a lot of fun families out enjoying the sun and greenness.

You cant tell but Toni and her boss DD are standing in the middle of the Arch. They wanted me to get it all in the pic, but that pretty much eliminated them.

We went to a casino the first night to kind of chill and just have a good time. We knew we could get some pretty awesome food so we went to this hamburger joint and this is my $20.00 hamburger and sweet potato fries, yum.

This is Toni and I at the slots. I tried not to play very much because I dont like wasting my money but as grandma and grandpa G say, I am supporting someone else's bad habit. But all in all it was a great night. Toni's boss won $40, Toni won $45 and as I was walking out I put a one dollar bill in a penny slot and won $60. I about fell out. I hit pay out and said okay, it is time to go home!

This is the hair show. The stylists do models hair and then the models walk around so everyone can see what they are doing and really get some great ideas. Check it out.

This was one of my favorites.

A couple of the stylists did the New York fashion shows this year and brought that into their work here. The ladies below then did a fashion/runway show.

That night we were exhausted but we knew the "Big Bang" was calling our names so we applied the hotness factor and headed out. This is Toni not liking the fact that I dressed her but looking too cute. She wore a cami which is my world and she detests butI think she pulled it off well.

This is all of us, (Kandi on the left, DD in the middle and Toni on the right) trying to take our own picture. Yeah we suck at it.

Toni and DD at the restaraunt on the Landing. We sat outside on the street and ate. Great atmosphere and great food. So much nicer than any "bar scenes" we have around here.

This, my friends, is the "Big Bang". This is our Bon Jovi look alike who also sounds just like him when he sings. It is a little whole in the wall bar with two pianos on stage. The guys playing can play all instruments and sing like no other. What you do is write a name of a song on a piece of paper and put it on their pianos, with donations of course. Then they randomly choose and play a song. They are very good at getting everyone in the audience involved and make even the most mundane songs HYSTERICAL!

This was a new guy, he was awesome also and hot so I had to get a pic.

So on the second day of the hair show we had a great surprise. Tabatha, from Tabatha's Salon takeover. She is brutally honest but she knows her stuff, both hair and business.

This hair style is kind of hard to see but it was so romantic and yet edgy that I had to get a pic. I also loved the dress.

As we were walking out the last day we saw another model who had yet to do her runway show. This is all hair! The hat on top is extensions twirled ridiculously tight and then attached to her head. UGH! It looked painful and heavy but it is amazing what they can do with hair.

Next bit of excitement is our friend snake. Sadly I had my glasses on and thought it was one of Elane's rubber snakes. I kicked it out of the way and it coiled. OH Sh** came to mind and then my dad swooped in to save the day. I brought him to work for the snake people to look at and found out that it is a Black Rat snake in baby form. They dont turn black until they mature.

Still scared the begeebies out of me and I was okay that we killed him, even if I did feel bad once we found out what he was.

I know you all want to know, how is the little person. :D Well she is not so little anymore. She now weighs a whoping 32 lbs. :D She is growing like a weed thought she is really tall and lanky just like her dad. This is a bad picture but we were in the movies. We went to see "How to train your dragon" in 3D, hence the glasses. She did really good and is forever talking about toothless, the main character. She also loves the Frog Princess movie. She got a shirt and could not wait to show me.

She is dancing up a storm. Toni and Steve enrolled her in ballet and tap. She loves it and is really good. She has her first recital at the end of this month. Everyone keeps saying that when she gets on stage she will freak because of all the people. Let me tell ya. She is not afraid of shaking what the good Lord gave her. She comes to Zumba with us and gets up on the stage their and does our dances with us. It is so funny. We will take pics at the recital and put them up for everybody.

And last, but certainly not least, I was giving the most amazing award on Monday. Habitat for Humanity Johnson County awarded me volunteer of the build! I didnt make it to the dedication but they apparently said some really great words about all the Volunteer Coordination I did throughout the build and that I was there for almost every build. It means so much to be a part of something like Habitat and then to be awarded this way cool plaque, I just couldnt ever say thank you enough!

Okay well that is all for now. I will try get more pics of E and put them up now that the sun is out and we can play outside. I hope all of you are doing well and getting to enjoy the sun. Love you and miss you all.

Valentine's Day

2010-02-12T08:48:00.001-08:00

To everyone in my life, I love you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for helping to build me up, keeping me grounded and letting me dream. To Elane, who I love from the bottom of my soul, you are my heart. When you came in the world my life was renewed. The happiness I knew as a child was flooded back into my life. Everytime I am with you or hear your voice on the phone I cant help but smile.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone, from me to you, I hope you know that no matter what there is someone thinking of you and loving you.

My Flowers :D from Elane

Christmas 2009 thank you God for our blessings

2009-12-26T18:11:00.000-08:00

This Christmas many people were blessed to be with their family and friends. There were many however that were away because of military, jobs, weather, and illness. Please know that you were missed and thought of often. We thank God for those in the military and ask especially that He keep them safe and allow them a quick return home.

May God bless you and yours, keep you safe and be an ever growing part of the year to come in your life.

And so starts the story of Christmas 2009. This is the tail of a Christmas tree. One that has been dreamed of every year since I sold my house. One that without Elane, would not have come to be.

The most important part on top, the angel that watches over and protects us in the night.

Then comes the decoration, as you can see we started with the garland. The arm crossing is one of the moves she is learning in her ballet class.

This is an angel I got from Silver Dollar City. She is beautiful. She looks like she is carved out of a piece of wood after it has been in the river for a while. She looks so peaceful, happy, and majestic.

This is the, "I can do it myself, and no, that is not where it goes!"

My beautifulness, it was all me. . .

and I can even take a picture of Aunt Kandi by the tree.

Lights out :D

And the beginning of the Christmas story 2009. . .

A warm fire and friends and family.

First we started with the most amazing present of the year. A Christmas tree made out of hunter orange duck tape :D Oh YAY! Bring it on. Steve came up with the idea. Elane and him worked endlessly to achieve perfection. It will be up next year for sure.

There is a present inside?

This is me crying. No, really.

Elane of course had to help me open it.

Pa pah had to get out the knife.

And then the true colots of more duck tape appear. A maroon one to match the color of my truck, chrome for the chrome on my truck, two rolls of regular duck tape, and a special "Peace, Love and duck tape" tied die color duck tape. :D

Okay, okay, I know enough about duck tape. But you have to admit, there isnt a single thing you could not fix or make out of duck tape.

Ma mah and Elane get to it, the handing out of presents.

She is so tired from the rest of the days festivities that she cant even stand up to hand out the presents.

Okay, now we are rolling. . .

and we are running. . .

and jumping, check out the legs and the pony tail :D

running back for more . . .

the whirl wind continues. . .

oh wait, her presents are out ready to start. . .

This box was so big she had to run around the box to unwrap it.

and still opening it. . .

IT SWALLOWED HER WHOLE!!!!! HELP!

AH HA! She is safe and now has a horse to ride around instead of her mother's wooden spoons.

ma mah's present was hard, she needed help with hers too. . .

looking at uncle jake trying to figure out why it is taking him so long to open one box. . .

almost. . .

ah ha, no wait, what is my computer doing in that box? I thought we were giving him a lap top?

And pa pah got a box too, what is that face for?

and that face. . .

OH, that is a good face. He must have figured out that WE GOT HIM! He got plane tickets and hotel reservations to go to his friend Phil Skaggs retirement in Florida. He is psyched, he is just mad that we got him. . .

and mommy too! She had not idea that we got her this mustang cup when we were in Silver Dollar City.

Oh, look who else got surprised, Elane didnt see the music box coming.

But the best part was the bubble wrap it was wrapped in. . .

and daddy got mommy too! She got a really awesome set of pots and pans.

She was happy :D and so we were happy.

I was so happy I gave her ten high 5's

Oh time out, I have to smash the paper down so we can get more in the box.

Almost . . .

Oh YAY, even Dot got a present. A cross bones and skull halter.

Back to my presents. . . mommy says I have to leave the playdoh at ma mah's house. . .

Uncle Jake got his drill bits and was so happy because now he has the good ones for work.

Aunt Kandi's turn. . .

more duck tape???? Nope, a BPA free plastic bottle. Aunt Kandi's way of saving the world a little a time.

I got this cool girlie nail and makeup kit from Ms. Jean and Mr. Roy. I couldnt even wait until we cleaned everything up, I had to put it on right away.

Mommy and ma mah helped.

See all of my beautifulness with bracelets, nails, gloss. I love it.

And now for daddies surprise. . .

he got nerf bars for his truck. But before he could get into the shed to see them he had to unthaw the lock with a propane blow torch. I think it is safe to say that he liked them and it was worth the ten degree weather, ice and snow.

Aunt Kandi's nails had to be painted too.

And thus ends Christmas this year. Thank you for everyone that was a part of our Christmas this year and we pary you will be present for many many more.

Merry Christmas and God bless you and yours

2009-12-26T09:39:00.001-08:00

Christmas this year started off with a trip to Silver Dollar City in the beginning of November. It was a trip from mom and dad so that we could all go down and see the lights.

We of course had to start the day off right with a little excursion to a place the boys call home, we call it the Bass Pro Shop. The sun was just coming up over the lake and the fog was rolling out. Hope you enjoy the pics, lots of baby E. :D

For toni,

A little bit of color in a sea of white . . .

Apparently the poor spider didnt get the message. It was a real spider web and it just looks really thick because it had that much ice on it.

Look at this beautiful truck, it reminds me of a nice cold winter with lots of snow and a freshly cut down pine tree.

Toni and Elane standing in line inside Bass Pro waiting to see Santa

The coolest Santa's workshop I have ever seen,

And yes, she looks all kinds of interested in seeing Santa, see her legs retreating while mommy holds her in place :D

This was outside the Bass Pro. It is the entrance to the new outside mall they put it in. It is great :D Lots of "Kandi" stores.

The whole family-1, Jake had just started his new job and was unable to join us. He is now working for Charter Cable now and has a local job so he doesnt have to travel the states. He is excited to see what the new job will bring his way.

I couldnt help it, I love these reindeer. You think this one will fit in my apartment? Or my front yard? Yeah, probably not. . .

We are finally there. After much debate about parking and bus rides to the park, we finally made it in. First stop, glass blowers . . .

It is amazing how they take a lump of essentially sand, overheat it and make beautiful works of art. . .

Cant go anywhere without trying the food. We decided to go with a suggestion frmo a friend of mine's. It is called suckatash, OH MY GOD GOOD!!!!!They make it in these huge skillets, cast iron of course.

Shortly after lunch Elane had already had enough fun for one day. She was OUT!

Steve was watching over her while us girls shopped. Okay obviously I wasnt shopping I was watching baby E sleep but you know.

I also got a little side tracked by the beautiful scenery. Even in the midst of winter, the hills were beautiful.

Next stop, ANIMALS! Elane has a new fascination with every living creature, even snakes, dont ask. Steve took her in for her first up close and personal with goats. Toni was soon to follow and Elane of course wanted to take one home.

Another family photo! No WAY! Maybe I could photoshop Jake in there and call it good.

Elane is telling us she wants to go see Santa Claus.

Pa pah just told her that is where we are going next

Elane loved the reindeer and it reminded her of the guys in the family, she even named them Dale and Steve :D Of course on her own with out any pushing.

AND FOR THE BEST PART! Here is the Santa that takes the cake. He was the most awesome of all. The hair was real, the beird, the clothes, EVERYTHING!

Enjoy and just remember, he always knows who has been naughty and nice :D

See, that look is enough to make you want to crawl in a whole. You know who you are.

EVEN THE TWINKLE IN THE EYE, COME ON!

Santa had to leave to feed his reindeer so Elane didnt get to go sit on his lap. She did however write him a letter and asked for a penguin that Aunt Kandi strategically bought when she wasnt looking and hid. It appeared under the tree with a note from Santa :D

Oh, there is Steve. . .

Oh and Jake, she didnt see him. . .

The walking was getting so tiring, mommy and daddy had to take turns carrying her.

The lights were incredible. Every building, every tree, every bush was covered with lights.

The dove of peace. . .

with the trees in the foreground. . .

Oh, the snow flakes, LOVED these so much I was walking up the hill backwards holding onto my mom's backpack so that I didnt hit anything. Look at all those people and we were only a quarter of the way up the hill.

This was in a restaraunt on the right coming up the hill, still walking backwards. . .

This was a beautiful little church. Steve said that they moved the whole church to its current site. It was gorgoues white oak inside with a huge beautiful window looking over the valley.

This was back at the main square. It is the volunteer firefighter tower. It was gorgeous and with the lights in the trees it was magnificent.

This tree is crazy cool. It was all lights and when the music played every fifteen minutes the lights moved with the music. Check out the video below the blue pic.

This is us after a very very cold day walking around.

Oh no, here we are. This is inside the exit from Silver Dollar City. They are hand crocheted snowflakes and wreaths.This one was more of an arch but still amazing.

The angel bids us fairwell from Silver Dollar City. We have one last stop in Branson on our way home.

Oh look, she took pics of her feet :D This usually happens when I give her my camera.

This is at the IMAX. I took everyone to see the Safari show because elane loves the animals of Africa.

And sadly we are on our way home :( Until next time. . .

I see

2009-12-08T09:01:00.000-08:00

We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we can't.

Whatever your cross,

whatever your pain,

there will always be sunshine, after the rain....

Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;

But God's always ready, to answer your call.....

He knows every heartache,

sees every tear,

a word from His lips, can calm every fear...
Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,

But suddenly vanish, by dawn's early light...

The Savior is waiting,

somewhere above,

to give you His grace,

and send you His love...

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

Blessings

2009-12-01T08:38:00.001-08:00

Today is December 1st. I want to take this time to praise the Lord for everything He has given me this year, for the things He took, and for the lessons learned.

I am thankful for:

God, being their everyday of my life, even when I wasn't looking, was searching and didnt want you there. For being my shoulder to cry on, my ear to listen and my strength through it all.

Jim Ross, the best guy I have ever met. From honesty to reality and everything in between, thank you for being my friend, believing in me and more importantly, trusting me. I miss you and wish I could find you.

Rodriguez, a dear friend who moved far away, again, but that is one of the most honest and gentle guys I have ever known.

Steph and Leta, sisters who share my pains and my aggrevations and share theirs.
Steph for being my crying shoulder and allowing me to be the b**** that I sometimes need to be.
Leta for keeping me grounded and reminding me constantly of something more.

My family, each day is a new day and each brings with it a new lesson, only God knows what they are and what they will be but thank you.

Chenelle my workout partner, for being positive and encouraging and for making me be there so you will be there. :D

Aunt Dee, Mike, Allison, and Nicholas, for being such a positive influence on my outlook on life, love, relationships, and the possibility of forever.

Gma and Gpa O'Rear for being funny, honest, and more real than anyone else I know.

Gma and Gpa Gerdes for growing me into who I am and breaking part of my stubborness, Lord can you imagine if you hadnt, oie!

Ashes and Abby, although I want to scream when you lay on my head or be bad, I love you for always being there when I get home and for being there when no one else was.

Baby E, the love of my life, the light and the happiness that keeps me true. Thank you for just being you, attitude and all :D

Donna, my travel agent for allowing me to take trips every year by finding me the best deals and really great places to go.

School, for melding my mind and making me an academically intelligent person.

Military for giving me the chance to see so many places, learn about so many cultures, and be a part of something so powerful and selfless.

Krista, for listening and being a positive influence.

Honesty

2009-11-24T13:27:00.000-08:00

New beginnings always start with being honest. In each truth I find myself looking back and wondering why I hadn't done that sooner. Why didn't you just say no? Why didn't you just trust? Why do you always have to push away? These are known as the "Why" questions. I have decided this year that instead of doing a new year's resolution I am going to do a thanksgiving resolution. I am resolving to write down every "Why" question I can think of right this second. It is one I can hold myself to and there are no strings attached. I will be thankful for each of them and try to make a difference in some of them. I can not conquer the world and I cant fix these things, but if I can help just one person through any part or the whole of any of the "Why's" below I will have accomplished something great.

So, truth:

Why do people have to hurt?
Why do people have to be alone?
Why do guys feel the need to assume you want a relationship if you talk to them more than once a month? Cant we just be friends and hang out with out having to be more?
Why is it that some people can shove food in their mouths on Thanksgiving without taking into account that some people don't get that chance?
Why do people complain about the homeless on the street but don't take the time to help one find their way back?
Why do people complain about religion in schools, on money and in federal buildings?
Why don't I trust people?
Why do people talk about each other behind the others back?
Why do I judge people before I get to know them?
Why do I have to be alone in this walk through life?
Why do children and parents have to question the safety of the school or day care they go to because people are so bad?
Why do kids have to go through life with out their parents because of work, divorce or even death?
Why does the military of the U.S. have to protect everyone else at such a high cost?
Why do more people in America realize what the military does for them?
Why is it that I don't see the blessing in the curse?
Why cant he walk?
Why cant he see?
Why are there so many homes and lives that are being destroyed because of something that a few people caused?
Why do Americans feel like we need to buy from other countries just so we can get things cheaper?
Why cant I forgive?
Why cant I forget?
Why do people not appreciate the gift they have in love?
Why cant I be like older people who just don't give a darn anymore?
Why am I so afraid to cry?
Why does society still push marriage as the solution to everything?
Why do people have babies to fix marriages?
Why do people get married to fix their relationships?
Why do people enjoy porn so much when there is so much more real beauty in the world to enjoy?
Why do people fight over items on Black Friday that cost hundreds of dollars, or even ten, when there are people that aren't able to give anything?
Why do so many animals depend on us and us on them and we still cant find a balance?
Why cant I make a difference?
Why cant I find a job that lets me make a difference for a living?
Why do so many people get beaten and get to that place where they think it is okay?
Why do so many people that have jobs right now get paid so much to do nothing when there are plenty of people that could do the same thing for 1/4 of the price and be able to feed their families?
Why cant I concentrate on school?
Why doesn't my family understand my need to make a difference, whether it with a smile, giving back the money I found on the floor, feeding people on thanksgiving, giving someone the extra shampoo or toothpaste I have, or giving someone a meal who is standing on the street begging for food?
Why do I have so much, long for more, and strive to give?
Why does Baby E love me so unconditionally and I her?
Why wasn't I there when she was born?
Why do I worry about her ALL the time?
Why cant I help those closest to me?
Why cant I share myself with the friends I hold dear?

Well, there you have it. The list as it is. I am sure there are a million more "Why's" going through my head. These are the ones that are standing out right now. I want to be that person that answers the why questions instead of just asking them.

The rodeo

2009-11-04T06:46:00.001-08:00

Of course we have to start off with the most important part of the rodeo. E :D One of the grandma's got her this shirt and she was so excited to wear it to the rodeo. Sorry I dont know which one, but thank you. She loved it.

First on the list is the barrels. Here you see the man on the fence who is one of the time keepers. The horses enter from his right and go for it.

Elane was asking mommy if she could do it and telling her the girl on her shirt was running barrels too.

Next was the calf roping, sorry to say only one team actually roped the calf.

Calf, check, ropers, no.

Now for the fun part. BULLS!

First out of the gate, not a nice bull.

The clown, hillarious!!!!!!!! I about fell out of the stand. He was not right. There was one point in the evening when his pants feel to his ankles, lovin the chilli pepper boxers! :D

Now for the real excitement, the bulls. They were all so fast I only got one good shot of a guy actually on the bull. Here are the bulls.

You ever get the feeling you are being watched?

She loved the bulls. She was clapping and screaming go bull go!

This kid stayed on and won it for the night. He was a little excited.

And she is out, she didnt even make it out of the field we were parked in.

More pictures to come. . .

New book

2009-10-22T11:28:00.001-07:00

So, I have been reading this amazing book called the organic God. I am in a group of women, yes, I said women, that are reading the book, applying it to our live's and looking at God from a whole new perspective. The honest in your face kind of God that isnt always what you want Him to be but always what you need Him to be, whether you agree or not. So, anyway I wanted to share this with you and thought you might enjoy it.

Body Island or Bodie Island Lighthouse

2009-08-08T10:00:00.001-07:00

Body Island Light House was built in 1872. It was the second attempt. The first was not sturdy enough to last through the hurricanes. It is called Body Island Light House, however it is not on an island. There is no Body Island in North Carolina. The first light house workers last name was Body. Thus the name of the light house. At some point someone began spelling it with an IE and it stuck. Hence taking Body to Bodie. No official change, no official reasoning just changed and stuck.

This is the staircase in the light house. It is not possible to climb it anymore because the rigging to the wall are not safe. It will be going under construction later this year, the end of Spetember I believe, and it will be finished sometime next year. The lady ranger that was inside the light house said that it will cost approximately 3.2 million to redo the staircase.

When they originally made the lighthouse there was a huge machine in this hole that actually turned the light around and helped to lift the huge cannisters of karosene up to the top.

The beautiful staircase again.

Just playing but the copper effect on the picture is aweomse! It makes it all creepy haunted like. This place wasnt haunted but it looks cool.

This is the room where the watchers would stay in at night or during their shift to make sure the light was full at all times and running.

This is the house that the lighthouse keeper and their assistants would stay in. The keeper had their family stay with them as much as possible. The only thing being is that if they had children there is no school near the island so they would have to go to Ocracoke or another near by Island to get their schooling.

Just playing, sorry they are sideways

This is the copper coloring with me :D and the lighthouse

Black and white with the beautiful North Carolina sky in the background.

This is a ranger. They switch between the lighthouse and the house to talk with visitors and to tell their story.

These are pictures of the lighthouse from the early 1900's. The kid in the bottom left hand corner is the lighthouse keepers son. He was wearing his dad's uniform and would later become a navy man himself. As you can see in the picture on the far right of the board.

This is him some 80 years later. He is in his nineties now and works every tuesday and thursday telling his story and educating people on the ways of life then. He told us a lot of stories. There was one that was really funny. His dad had some guys come out and build a shed. The guys that were building the shed didnt brace the shed or build it up the way they should have. His dad kept telling them it would blow away with the first big wind. When they had their first good blowing (his words) the shed flew away. Never to be seen again. A more solemn story would be when the hurricane threatened to take the lighthouse. The water from the ocean came all the way up to the stairs of the lighthouse. Luckily it didnt get any closer but the evacuation left many animals and people fending for themselves.

Well that is all from Body, but I will be bringing more to you from the other light houses and beaches in NC. Stay tuned.

Trip to the Outer Banks

2009-08-08T08:52:00.001-07:00

We flew from KC to Norfolk. The flight was pretty uneventful despite the turbulence. Then we got to Norfolk. Our flight was late getting in so we missed our reservation for our rental car. Not happy, then we went out to go to the hotel and the shuttle's had stopped for the night. Ha, yeah. So we just went to the hotel and decided to start fresh the next morning.

Our first stop we made was to the Wright Brother's Field Museum. We lucked out because we also were there on the day that the kite festival was happening. It was really cool to be there where history took place. We walked the flight path and even saw the places where the first and other flights ended. To even have the idea of putting paper and wood together just makes you really wonder what was in their heads that made it possible. It was amazing.

We were there early but this is the beginning of the flight festival.

YAY ZOOM! This is looking up the hill.

This is my friend Anne, she went with me. She really made the trip happen.

Above all else from this trip I learned that faith no matter how small is enough. The greater your faith the greater the surprises and blessing God puts in your life.

This was my side of the monument. My faith although dashed at times has been an everlasting part of my life. Thank you God for making at least that one thing in my life so unfailing.

How beautiful is this. The Congress made this monument and carved wings into each side. The other side is hit hard by the sand and wind off the ocean so it harder to see.

Our next stop is Jockey Ridge, it is beautiful. It is the tallest sand dune on the east coast. This picture is from the top looking out over Nags Head to see the ocean.

This is us starting to climb back down. That family you see is about half way up the first hump of the dune. There were four on the way up.

Me and Anne

The beautiful grass that grows out of sand.

Me being extremely happy I am still alive. It is a lot harder than you would think to climb up sand.

30 years

2009-07-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is the day. It seems like 30 years has come and gone in the blink of an eye. I question what I have to show for it everyday but am thankful for so many things. Still there is a longing in my heart for something more.

I am thankful for getting to know my family better, I am thankful for the love of my life, "Baby E", I am thankful for the opportunities the Lord has blessed me with as well as the struggles. I am thankful for the handful of friends I know will always be there and love me no matter what. I am thankful for those that are true to the end. Forget the kiss kiss nice answer, tell me the truth, I will love you that much more for just being honest with me. I pray that you forgive me when I am bluntly honest with you. I just want to make sure you get exactly what I mean, not the niced down version of a little white lie. I know at times I am too much and at times I cant handle you either. I know at times I need to be alone and sometimes you dont understand that, its just the way I am. I am scared of what you have to offer and am scared of what I have to lose. But more than anything I am thankful for the chance. I pray for someone that I can share my everything with, my hopes, my dreams, my secrets, my past, and my future and everything in between. I pray for a great many things but most of all I pray that God, my Lord and savior, will just shove me with all his might into the life He has planned for me. As we all know I am hard headed and I am guessing I just dont get the subtle hints you throw my way. If I do, I am obviously a little confused and not really sure where to go from here. I dont know what I am supposed to do and feel lost. This milestone is just one day of the rest of my life, I am ready to start the rest.

God has put many things on my heart lately. With out him I would not have the things that He gives me that make me who I am. I am thankful for each and everyone, whether it be person, animal, place, thing or even the unseen. Here's to another 30 years of faith, true life, all I long for and the end of me. Our friend Brandon says in one of his new songs "Wherever, whenever, whatever the cost, count me in!" (Check out his new web page http://brandonwebbmusic.com) I want to be in that place with all my heart and soul, I just need your help to get there.

As always, here's an update on the Baby E, the love of my life and the happiness that keeps me going everyday.

She is doing good, hasnt been sick for a while now, thank the Lord. The test results came back and it is clear she does not have cystic fibrosis. Again, thank the LORD! So more tests to come, allergies etc. She is having a great summer, feeding the ducks, going to the park, hanging with the grand and great grand parents. Toni and Steve had their anniversary at the beginning of June and went to Branson. They took her with them, as you can see she loved the DUCK ride. It is an old WWII truck/boat thingy. They give you the duck bill that is a quacker and she wouldnt stop quacking for three days afterwards. :D I think its safe to say she liked it.

What is summer with out ice cream? So I took her to DQ we got some yumminess and proceeded to drop it all over grandma's van, it was great :D You can tell by this picture she hates ice cream, no really, dont let the face trick you ;)

We also have to get some sun time in and of course accesorize. Just because mommy and the rest of the women in our families dont really get the fashion thing she is not letting that stop her. She is a diva, watch out boys.

Well more to come soon. Going to the Outerbanks (OBX) of North Carolina in a week, WOOT WOOT! Plenty of pics will follow I assure you and the rest of baby E's summer excursions as well. Keep in touch and may God bless your everything with just enough.

Sorry its been a while

2009-05-14T06:12:00.001-07:00

Baby E is doing really good. Slowly getting over bi-lateral pnuemonia. She has had a rough couple of months but as Aunt Dee says, "She is our fighter." She is a strong little person who is surrounded by lots of love and happiness. I just pray and ask you to pray that God continues to heal her little body and keep her healthy. :D Here are some new pics of her and her best friend, Dot.

Well things are wrapping around the summer and have been crazy but we are through the storm, mostly. Here are some pics of the latest storm in the beginning. It got a lot worse but I was not standing out in it to take pics, air to ground lightning, thank you but NO!

Been working on my Masters, second semester down, came out with an A and a B. Thank the Lord for those. Been working a second job part time at a vineyard, Monserrat. It is great to interact with people again! I didnt realize how much of a social person I am.

This is Norton. He is the house cat :D

Had an amazing experience at church on sunday. Been going to this bible study called "New Beginnings" and as an assignment I had to write down all the sins or things I have been ashamed of in the past. You have no idea how dark your past is until you start looking at your past and seeing what things you did because everyone else was, or to make a guy like you, or just because it was easier to sin than to deal with the realness of your faith. I would like to challenge all of you to take 5 minutes or more if possible to sit down and write your life down. You will be surprised. Write it down, put it in an envelope, seal it and pray. Once you have prayed that God forgives you all your sins, those you wrote down and those you didnt, burn the letter. Let it all go and feel your life start.

SO the second part of the story is that same sunday after bible study we went to the service and heard an amazing service about sin and the way that even the smallest splinter would eventually cause the biggest break in your soul. Because I had not burnt mine yet, I asked my friend Leta to accompany me to the alter so that I could give my life back to God and so I took the letter that I wrote to God and God alone and set it on the alter. She prayed for me because I was to busy BALLING! my eyes out. She prayed that God would know my heart and who I am in Him. That he would encourage me to walk in His footprints instead of fighting and pushing to make my own way and I gave it all to Him and made a promise to let it all be in the past. To never open the envelope, to never open those thoughts, and to never let the past bring me back to a place I should have never been in anyway. The things in that letter are not who I am and not who I want to be. Then we burnt it...

I pray that the Lord would touch all of your hearts and that you would feel the love that God has for you. Open your hearts, confess your sins, and let Him do the rest. It is hard, dont get me wrong, to just let it all go but when you do it gets easier and easier to realize the greatness He has planned for you. May God bless you with enough.

Love you all,

Kandi

Fireproof

2009-02-14T07:09:00.000-08:00

As many of you know I am not in a relationship nor have I been for a while. I believe that God is preparing me for something more amazing than even I can imagine. This christmas I bought my family the LoveDare. I figured if nothing else it would help them to see the little things that eachother need. I had no intention of reading or watching fireproof until I was having a bad day and my friend invited me over. She had it and suggested we watch it. She is married but I thought what the heck I will give it a try. Can I just say WOW! Besides the fact that Kirk Cameron is amazing in this movie, everyone and everything that went into it was completed based in God and you can see the results. Well this morning I found this http://www.fireproofthemovie.com/. There is a ton of information, a blog, more books, bible studies, and stories from the actors of the movie who were all church members except a few with no experience. The movie has touched them and communities around the world. So I challenge you to watch the movie.
Also I wanted to say Happy V-Day, although it has nothing to do the St. Valentine, I do love the fact that once a year people are told how much they are loved. So from me to you ......
I LOVE YOU!

Published Photographer, OH YAY!

2009-02-02T12:48:00.000-08:00

Ha ha, so when I was in Grand Junction I took pictures. Obviously see below posts. Well it appears that the Grand Junction Visitors Bureau really enjoyed one and now it will be on their website and in the Visitor's brochures they send out to people!! How exciting :D It wasnt my favorite pic but it is beautiful

This is the email

"Congratulations on winning the Grand Junction Visitor and Convention Bureau online photo contest for your submission titled "Two Worlds Collide"! There were many amazing submissions but your entry best represented our area and its beauty. As the winner, you will soon receive a case of Colorado Wine by mail. Enjoy and make sure to visit our website www.visitgrandjunction.com in the coming weeks to see your photo featured. We look forward to welcoming you back to Grand Junction for more adventures and photos!Sincerely,The Grand Junction Visitor and Convention Bureau"

and this is the pic....

Latest Paintings

2009-01-27T06:38:00.001-08:00

I took these on my phone so they are not of great quality but you can get the idea.
I have to say thank you to Trey for allowing me to use ideas from her paintings. Trey they are gorgeous and I love the opportunity to get to interpret them. Thank you.

This one is a mixture of Ireland and England. Yes yes, I will go there one day. Hopefully next year if anyone would be interested in taking a journey.

P.S. I pray that God blesses you all and keeps you safe and happy. I love you and miss everyone that has ever touched my life. Thank you for being a part of it.

Mi familia

2009-01-27T06:01:00.000-08:00

Thank you, again, to everyone who let me stay, showed me around and made my trip amazing :D

Thank you to Ali and Nick for putting a smile on my face and keeping me plenty entertained. You guys are the sweetest people I know. :D Miss you already.

Because I am a genius I didnt think to get a pic of Ali or of Aunt Dee and Uncle Mike before they left for San Fran. I wish I would have but all the same, you are AMAZING! and I hope to be very blessed in knowing you and having you be a part of my life for a very LONG time.

This is grandma and grandpa and aunt cindy. They took me to all the beautiful places in the blogs below.

This is my opa, he is such a sweet heart and full of life and spunk! When he had cancer and lost all his hair he wore this red bozo clown wig to the hospital and made everyone laugh and just light up. He was there as a patient but was healing people from the heart out with laughter.

Grandma didnt like being in the pics, but I did catch one. How cute are they.

Aunt Cindy with her bad self posing :D How gorgeous is she. :D

More CO

2009-01-27T05:44:00.000-08:00

Evil little man kept getting in my picture, so finally I just let him be there. This is behind my aunts house.

This was right outside my aunt dee and uncle mike's back door. AH! so gorgeous. It is so gorgeous in Grand Junction and so relaxing. It has been added to the list of places to move possibly.

Not going to say much, gotta pretend like I am working but these first pics are of Black Canyon, hence the sign ;) It was hidden by dust and dirt mountains on the outside. You wouldnt even know it was there if you didnt live here. Thank you grandpa and grandma and aunt cindy for taking me. It was gorgeous. Truely one of God's miracles.

How absolutely cool is this pic. There isnt much color in it except the red in the flag that stands out! It is so amazing.
Okay this is the other national park we went to it is called the monument. It to was gorgeous. It is crazy how two places in the same town can have such different landscapes,

Looking down on the valley of the Mesa.

Part 3-Coming down from the mountain

2008-12-16T13:21:00.000-08:00

There is more coming on this from the beginning of the trip I promise but here is what I have so far.

This car was parked outside the subway I stopped at in Aspen. I about fell out! Who owns this kind of car in Aspen I ask you? But it was gorgeous to look at, not gonna lie.

This was a little roadside fun I thought about partaking in till I thought about the drive over the mountain in wet clothes. There were places like this all up and down the mountain. People fly fishing, rafting, canoeing, anything you want to take part in.

I climbed in the river. To cool off for a while. It was a lot colder than I had anticipated.

This is one of the log cabins I scoped out for my brother in law Steve. He liked these a lot until I told him the price.

The mystery of water and the beutiful reflections it can create when calm.

No mom, I was not driving and taking pictures.

More beautiful rivers along the way

Look how beautiful and natural the water is

Took this for mom, the aspen's you love. Not a bad background either. :D

Leaving the mesa's

Beautiful river stop

Mom's high school picutre back round, you guys will know what I mean

Mesa, I cant remember what the finger looking things were called. UGH! But basically this was all formed from volcanoes. There are little spouts everywhere that are little mini wanna be volcanoes. Scary but beautiful.

This was after going through the mountain. I kind of got lost trying to find the buffalo that I always miss and found this!!!!! Oh yeah baby.

AND >>>>>>OH YEAH, the BUFFALO!!!!

This is Mr. Buffalo

This is baby

This is a distant cousin who felt the need to be photographed and last but not least

The whole family

The teenage son

A deer crossed my path as I was leaving the Buffalo Reserve

This is actually close to Denver where my uncle lives. It was so gorgeous there. The city is very very close but there is a lake just down the street from his house, a dog park and of course the mountains as a back drop. GORGEOUS!

I finally got to see my friend of a lifetime Trey. We had not seen each other in 13 years. We went to Boulder, ha ha, I think she says her husband called it the rice cake kind of people. You know my type. Art, coffee, living life and enjoying it ;) . We found this amazing little coffee shop that had hot chocolate chai latte's. Let me just say OMG! so good. If you are ever there you should stop by, it is by the big statue of the elk. Dont ask what street that was on. I lost track. They have a lot of ethniv shops, hand made clothes, soaps, and my personal favorite street performers.

Well anyway, we had a blast and vowed not to let it be so long next time between visits.
This is Trey,
So anyway, thank you to everyone who let me crash at their house on this journey. Thank you for the amazing tour of the mountains and mesa and hidden valley. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of the family and most of all thank you for strengthening my journey with God. Love you all.

For the Lands

2008-10-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

Okay really this is for all of you but more so for Mrs. Teresa, Dale, Kota, and Shawn. Baby misses you immensely as do the resy of us. She said I should show you pics, so here ya go. :D

Rainy day go away come back another day...

Girls night at Kandi's aprtment. Dont look at the apartment ;) She was trying to lock me out of my bedroom and laughing and loving it.

She was trying to get to the perfume on my dresser. She had pulled out every drawer. It was too funny.

And just for you her shaking her booty :D

And more to come but here is her on a horse from yesterday's homecoming parade. Sorry it is sideways.

Hope things are getting better. The rain only lasts so long then the sun comes out and it is so much more beautiful than it was before. Praying for you.

Baby E's Summer Adventures Part I

2008-08-10T13:25:00.001-07:00

The biggest horse in the world came to visit our little town and she got a first rate seat. Right up against the rails. These rails are usually about 8-10 feet tall and if you lok closely his but is above the rails. No he is not a clisedale. That is usually everyone's first question. He is in the same family of horse however.

Her next big event was the fire muster, it was suppsed to be after the fair in the pics you saw in the last set of blogs. They postponed it and just made it up, here are the pics from their games. They do things like shoot the keg across a line. It is basically tug of war in the sky with water hoses.

This year they had a mini me competition. Baby E of course took part. She was so not about the water hose. It terrified her. You can see it in her face if you look closely.

Then they did the water brigade . This is where they take water out of one bucket and throw it into or onto a builing, in this case a bucket. You will see the grown ups doing it later

It took her a couple of tries to get the hang of it. She is definitely into doing her own thing.

Then they do they body drag. They have a body dummy that for the grown ups ways 175 lbs. But for the little people it only had about 10 lbs and she kicked butt. She apparently had been practicing at the fire station while dad cleaned the machines.

Now its the big boys turns. Here is the water hose fight. They have to get dressed, get up unroll hoses, put them together and get in line to shoot the hose at the cone with a ball on top. Hit the ball off and you are good.

Here is the body drag as seen with the little kids.

Here's daddy in action.

Here is the water brigade.

Now here is the funniest thing you have ever seen. Baby E got to get a four wheeler. No kidding a kidie sized four wheeler. One of steve's friends had one in his garage for a long time it wasnt working so Steve tok it and fixed it up for her.

Watch out world she is battery operated and on 4 wheels!

Yes we know the hair is out of control, but she is helping daddy. Who has time for hair.

Here daddy let me hold this for you. No you are doing it wrong.

AND.......................

the birthday. Oh yeah second birthday. Grandpa bought balloons.

She chased them all over the house.

Mommy bought a cake, she can say cake and loves this one. She is a big fan of the tinkerbell

She had sparkling candles. They were supposed to be like sparklers but not so much.

Blowing out the candles was fun and she got it on the first try.

She actually stuck her fingers in it this year. Although she was looking around sheepishly because she was afraid someone would yell at her.

Then we cut her a piece and it was on! Hince the chocolate mustache. Which is another owrd she says and is very partial too. Toni trys to hide the chocolate in the fridge but she always finds it. She knows where it is and if Toni tells her that it isnt there she points to the second hiding spot.

Since yet again she didnt get really messy grandpa had to help out a little.
This is my favorite baby E face. Tell me what you think she is thinking here. :D

She is laughing her, she cant handle us busting up.

Until she doesnt think its so funny anymore.

And here is the end of the fun, licking the bottom of the tinkerbell to make sure she got all of the icing. She carried that thing around with her all day. We think she looks like tinkerbell. :D

Well more to come............................

Baby E's Summer Adventures Part II

2008-08-10T12:04:00.001-07:00

Her babysitter got her a present. She had to wait till she opened all of them before she could open it. She is learning a lot of new words. She has learned Duck, and as soon as she saw it she said it. She is getting so smart.

This is her going "Oh God I hope this is the last one" :D

The most important birthday present she got was a tricycle. As soon as she saw it in Wal-Mart there was no going back EVER! She threw a fit. Then because we knew she liked it soooooo much, mommy and daddy got it for her. She screamed when she saw it. We hide it in the bathroom till she got to it. All the other presents came first.

Letting Grandma push, its tiring using your legs so much to push yourself.

Helping dad move the seat up some.

Loves you! MUAH!

Grandma playing teeter-totter with Baby E

She always need help to start off with. :D

Her big girl slide, she loves it.

She doesnt know it but the fishies died. She still goes to the edge of the pond and calls them out to play.

The love of my life is growing up andlook how gorgeous she is. She just glows like a light that makes the world a happy place to be.

Sorry this is side ways. Toni taped it sideways and it really isnt getting straight, but it is funny. This is Baby E at the State Fair right outside the huge rodeo arena. They had a local band playing some music and she kind of liked it.

Enjoy

Baby E at the fair

2008-07-18T08:44:00.001-07:00

Again this year Baby E was in the Baby contest at the fair. She was dressed in traditional fair attire and pink to top off the Baby Girl cute look. She didnt win but everyone said afterwards she should have, I cant argue with that. I definitely thought she was the cutest one there.

Daddy with his girl
After the baby show we went to the petting zoo, I dont know where those pics are but if find them I will definitely add them.

After the petting zoo we went on to the hobo contest,

Multi-tasker in training

The other competitors in the fairy tale contest

Putting the money she won for the hobo contest in her pail

She likes to fill her pail and then empty and do it all over again. But look how cute she looks doing it. And the farmer tan lines, gotta love it!

The newest pictures of the newest member of the Runyon family, Gus.

Action shot, he was okay with the string, he acted like a dog but got a couple of spurts a play mode where he tried to eat the string.

And last but not lesat this is toni's new hair cut, pretty cute. Mom has a new one too I hear but I havent seen it yet. Keep ya posted.

Love you guys, miss you much and pray God keeps you helathy, happy and safe :D

Baby E on the fourth

2008-07-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

The most important thing ever in my whole life, the love of my life, Baby E :D

Playing in the back yard, make sure you comment on the grass and how beautiful it is the next time you talk to Dad

;)Her buddy blue. He protects her really.
Us laying out, we had to flip her.
Yep, Jake does still exist see, here he is..
Oh no, this is the temper tantrum, then you tell her to get something for you or put something in the trash and she is fine it is miraculous how she turns it on and off
Ghetto parking valet's let me tell you what. Just kidding, it was to keep them safe from the fireworks extravaganza soon to come. Moms new van, my new truck and dads latest play toy the Jeep.
AW! look how cute they are. And no, you definitely cant tell whos kid she is :D
AH HA!~
The funnest part of the whole night. I decided I wanted a Pinata for the b-day. So we got one, apparently the cheaper you go the more cardboard they use and the harder it is to bust open.

First try we broke the string holding it up in half, go us
Then baby E had another go only she is a lover not a fighter and didnt like hitting the horse
I on the other hand had no problem with it! Because the sun went down faster than usual we had to get some lighting, remember the ghetto valet, yeah well the cars got to double as the ghetto lighting fixtures! Oh yeah, only in MO

Then we let Toni hit the pinata, and well a picture is worth a thousand words. Ha ha!

The night just getting started. Tiki torches, check, Lawn furniture, check, fire pit, check, music, check, piro's, check. Okay we are good.....Baby E's first sparkler....

It scared her at first but then she got to the point where she wanted to keep lighting them :D

Then we started the bigger ones :D

And alas, half way through the little person started loosing the battle to stay awake. So we chilled till she was pretty much limp, it was amazing.

Mural

2008-07-18T05:23:00.000-07:00

Okay please, please keep in mind that the items that I paint are not my ideas, I just do what the people I am painting for pay me to do. I dont particularly like the colliseum and the leaning tower together, it just doesnt work for me especially considering they are in two totally different parts of Italy but here ya go, this is the process, mostly. I was okay with the end product but learned ALOT! from this job. ANd ALOT! about scaffelding. Fun times let me tell ya. Enjoy.

The beginning

Sunrise

Sketching on the buildings and the shadows

Okay the green is a long story but in short the guy didnt want to buy the paint I told him I needed so I tried to mix teh blue and yellow's I had, needless to say it was HORRIBLE!~ But keep going it gets fixed because I told him I wouldnt finish it unless he got me the paint I told him I needed before I even started the job.

Now we are adding the true white marble stonish stuff

He wanted it to say italy somewhere and he wanted a horse and carridge for this guy that works for him that actually leaved in Italy and had a farm and vineyard. Once he bought me the green it all came together. :D

This is the other wall and the happiness for me in this project :D It is of a canal in Venice, LOVE! So going there some day.

Note to self on this flag, it is supposed to be blowing in the wind. Hence the reason there is a fold where the whiteoverlaps the green. He had to complain abou teverything and the last thing he came up with was the flag looks weird. At that point, after no bathrrom for a 14 hour day, no AC, working on scaffelding, no paint, him being late twice and then rescheduling at the very freaking end of the day of me waiting for him I was not really caring. I didnt charge him enough for what I painted to begin with and then he was a jerk. Note to self put a jerk clause on the contract from now on. And the finished beautifulness. :D Sorry the pics are weird but it was up high.

Hope you enjoyed

She is an artist already!

2008-07-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone :D

Hope your 4th was amazing! Lots of fun stuff to come, gotta wait for pics to get transfered. These are some I took with my camera though. They are all of my life's heart and love. Baby E of course. :D Enjoy

She was walking around holding her dress up, it was the funniest thing ever. We may need to work on how high she lifts it but all in all she is staying girlish :D

This is her telling me to stop it with the camera already! But really as she was coloring, you can see the creations behind her, she started walking up to the plants and the grass and coloring them. Then she started waving the chalk up in the air. When we watched her closer she was drawing the clouds! It was so awesome. I am so proud :D

This is her not being a daddy's girl. Nope, never. Look how gorgeous and happy she is.

Then we went inside and she threw a fit! She wanted to go back outside. Once we did, she kept making me go into the garage. Finally I figured it out! She wanted a pop sicle, hello! It was on then. She looked like she couldnt breath cause her whole mouth was purple :D

Her mommy wanted to watch Spiderwick so we put it in and she was glued, she got so excited when the flower fairies came out of the flower bushes. It was so cute. :D

More to come stay tuned

Baby E's Baby Show and New Friend

2008-06-24T04:32:00.000-07:00

I fear that every year baby e will inevitably have to go through life's lesson of being in a baby show in a town she doest live in and not win. Yes yes she is the cuttiest baby there has ever been but in a town as small as knob its all in who you know. And the other babies are gigantors compared to her. But owell fun times for mommy and her. Enjoy.........

Now this is where it got really interesting, see daddy doesnt know about taking pictures so Elane had to show him how it was done. :D

Okay I am not going to blame this one on her, it was all me. What can I say it was an artistic moment. I have those sometimes
The what in God's name are you doing look.
AND.........The new member of the Runyon family, may I introduce Gus Gus :D

Thank you thankyou, yet another succesful post, stayed tuned for updates on the new job and pics on the first mural I ever got paid to do. Talk about learning lessons, oie! See ya then

Painting and Baby E, the two loves of my life :D

2008-06-19T06:46:00.001-07:00

Okay so I am pretty excited. This month God has blessed me in so many ways. I got the amazing new job which I start monday! SO PSYCHED!

I finished my first Grad class with minimal amounts of stress. THANK GOD I dont have to take math and science, true story trey.

And lastly well for right now, I was just commissioned to do two paintings, well one is a mural. The mural is in an up and coming restaraunt in Knob and the painting is for a friend in Arizona. AH! The mural is in two sections about 3 feet tall and 6 feet wide, I will have to work on scaffolding (s/p) and am terrified! But hey bring on Michelangelo moments, I think so!

Baby E is growing so fast and the best part is I will be around to see her grow. :D

K so that was all the news I had, here are some pics of Baby E and our day at Bass Pro for dads car show. Hope you enjoy :D

The most beautiful Corvette I have ever seen! The champagne color or BUFF as it was known as then is BEAUTIFUL!

DOUBLE TAKE! All though the red one did not have the traditional white scoops on the side we forgave him and loved the fact that he put a brand new Corvette engine in an old car, wonder what it could do, he wouldnt let me try ;)

We got a little bored by the cars so we went in to the Bass Pro, here is Elane watching slow pokes Grandpa and Mommy coming up in the elevator. She was so excited she covered her mouth

Then on Sunday for father's day we took Dad and Steve out to dinner. On the way there a song came on the radio and Baby E just started belting it out. Really Look...

When we go to the restaraunt she wanted to run around. We didnt care but then more kids came in and we figured grandpa should hold her. He isnt proud or happy in this picture, nope, not at all :D

Baby E was trying to share the love, she was giving licks and open mouth kisses because I stuck my tongue out at her! Ha ha. It was great :D

Okay well that is all I have, Happy Father's Day to all you dad's, grandpa's, and great's! :D Thank you for all the well wishes on the new job. Will keep you posted.

NEW JOB!

2008-06-14T06:52:00.000-07:00

So, as some of you may have already heard:

I GOT A NEW JOB

I am now amongst the working environment as a "real" job holder. Ha ha.
I am going to be the Program Assistant for the Dual Credit program at Central. This means I will have the entire state of Missouri's Dual Credit Program under my charge. I am pretty psyched. I will get to travel, get kids interested in Dual Credit and help teachers become a part of the program. :D
Although this is not what I want to do forever, it is an extremely huge honor to be able to be a part of this and the best part is I KEEP MY BENEFITS! Ha ha.

I also started working on my masters degree. I am getting it in Speech Communication. This is a degree that basically helps you understand why people do the things they do and say the things they say. I love my Master's Coordinator and she is also one of my professors. She is really laid back but is a great teacher and it isnt like pulling teeth to get me to learn the information. I love it. I feel at home in this major. Thank you to everyone who believed in me and backed me.

So, that is the latest. I will have pics in a couple weeks from the birthdays. And new pics of Baby E. She is getting so big you wont even believe it. She is talking up a storm now and has definitely began hitting her terrible two's. Hence the reason she gets to go home at the end of the night ;)
No I am just kidding. She is amazing and I soak up anytime I have with her.

Miss you all very much and hope this finds you all well.

Toni's Trip to PA, NY, VA and others

2008-05-30T07:52:00.001-07:00

This is toni's friend Nadine. She lives in PA an took toni to all kinds of places while toni was there for a visit.

New York Skyline

Time square, or part of it anyway

Oh yeah a police station with NEON!

This next part is pretty depressing but really interesting and humbeling......

Ground Zero

Bring on the pizza!

Toyz-R-Us

Shore Leave

A few pics from the zoo........

Aw, he is soooo cute :D
I dont know where this is but it is way cool...

Recognize this, I think so.

Okay that is all I got. Hope you enjoy the pics sorry there isnt much explanation, I just got the pics.

New baby e pics

2008-05-27T07:09:00.000-07:00

She is growing fast :D Her first not so great word... shit. Sounds a lot like shut when she says it. Still funny. She is talking up a storm, she says all kinds of things now. And when she wants you to do something and you dont understand her she grabs your hands, says up! and makes you follow her so she can show you. :D It is great. I got to watch her sunday night and we had a blast. She now knows what pots are and why god made medal spoons. :D Yep put two and two together.

Well enjoy, more pics of cancun below this post.

Always smiling :D

Okay not always....

Still a daddy's girl, hard core!

This is her telling me to come on already!